11 Signs Your Friend Is Using You
Feel like you're getting used by a pal?
There's a fine line between being a really good friend and getting totally taken advantage of. Do you sense that you're being used? Below are 11 signs that might help you figure it out.
1. They're Only Around When They Want Something
A classic sign that you're being used is when your friend is only around or available when it's convenient for them. They also always happen to want something when they are around, which is a very clear sign they're only in it for them.
2. They Rarely Check in or Text You
Feel like you're the only one reaching out? If you look through your messages and the friend in question never initiates the convo or rarely checks in on you, chances are they aren't a true friend.
3. They Don't Include You in Their Social Media Posts
Sounds silly, but we all know how much it stings to get shaded on the internet. If you have a friend who constantly "forgets" to tag you in a group shot, or always chooses a photo that you're not in to post, their not-so-subtle shade isn't the sign of a good friend—it's the sign of someone who likes having you around to do things for them, but they don't actually consider you a legit member of their squad.
4. They Don't Invite You Anywhere
Or even worse than being left off on social, they don't invite you anywhere, ever. Dump them, they're not worth it!
5. They Don't Know Much About You
Fostering a friendship requires getting to know the other person and building a deeper bond. That means talking about your family, your crush and why you're currently fighting with your sister. If it seems like your "friend" doesn't really even know you, even though you've told them private stuff in the past, then they're probably not paying attention and aren't giving you the attention you give them (and deserve!).
6. They Talk About You Behind Your Back
Friends don't bad-mouth friends behind their back. If you find out your friend is talking smack about you, then A) she's not a good friend and B) she might have an ulterior motive for hanging out with you.
7. They Aren't There When You Need Them
Does it seem like you're always there when this friend needs you, but when it's your turn to need support or help, they're nowhere to be found? A friendship needs to go both ways, and both parties need to feel supported in order for it to work. If your relationship is very one-sided, then you need to think seriously about whether or not they're using you.
8. You Only Hang Out on Their terms / Under Certain Circumstances
Does it seem like you only see your pal on their terms? Or perhaps they only hang out with you when you've got something they wants—when you're hanging out with your hot or popular friends, or when you've got a group project. Beware of circumstantial friends because they are only in it for reasons that benefit themselves.
9. They Get Mean or Disappear When You Don't Give Them What They Want
If you stand up for yourself and don't give your friend what they want, when then want it, do they get mean, or worse—totally ghost you? Manipulative people aren't used to not getting what they want, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to do whatever you want.
10. They've Told You They're Using You
Okay hear us out, this sounds crazy but sometimes people who are using you literally tell you they are using you, you just need to learn how to hear it. Keep in mind when a friend says, "Thank you so much again, I know I always do this," or "I know it always seems like I come to you for (insert) but I swear that's not the case." If they feel the need to justify their actions, then chances are they feel guilty because they know they're using you in some capacity.
11. They Over-Compliment You
It's easy to get sucked in by an over-complimenter, especially if it's a friend you really admire. Be mindful of the over-complimenting types because usually an influx of compliments means they're trying to sweet talk you into getting something that they want. What's worse is that the compliments are not even heartfelt.
Do you feel like your friend is also stealing your wardrobe? HERE are the dos and don'ts of borrowing clothes.