A Definitive Ranking of Every Burger Topping
I have to give burgers props. They're one of the most versatile foods, which also makes them one of the best. Think about it. Even their core parts, the meat and bread, are customizable. If you're vegan, you can have a mushroom veggie patty, or if you don't eat red meat, you can order a turkey burger. Hey, you don't even have to use bread. You can wrap your burger in lettuce or onions.
That said, it's the toppings that make your burger. They're what distinguishes a California burger from a Southern-style burger—and I have opinions about the ingredients we put on such a sandwich. Below, discover my definitive ranking of every burger topping.
8. Raw Onions
A scenario where I would order raw onions on a burger does not exist. When a burger has onions, they're all I can taste. They're potent and smelly, and the cold texture interferes with the harmony of the ingredients. And the worst part about it? Even if I take the onions off my burger, I still don't want to eat it because the flavor lingers on anything they touched.
(via Shutterstock)
Also read about: A Definitive Ranking of Popeyes' Dipping Sauces
7. Tomato
I have the same sentiments about tomatoes. They're not nearly as bad as onions, but I don't think they add anything to the burger. Something about a fresh tomato makes me slightly nauseous. They must read slightly bitter to my taste buds, and that annoying juice is messy.
6. Lettuce
Sometimes, I feel like the only person who doesn't like lettuce on their burger. After all, lettuce doesn't have an intense flavor. Instead, it almost exclusively adds texture. I'm a texture person and cannot stand when the lettuce gets soggy (almost immediately). It's also a pain to scrape off, especially if it's shredded.
5. Bacon
Bacon is hit or miss. I haven't been a bacon lover for most of my life, but I love how it tastes on a grilled burger—you know, one where you can taste its char and likely top with barbecue or steak sauce. It doesn't add much to a typical burger, in my eyes.
(via Shutterstock)
4. Grilled Onions
I didn't open up to grilled onions until I had In-N-Out. They are the solution to every problem that raw onions create. Since they are cooked, they seamlessly blend into the burger while simultaneously adding a subtle crunch. The caramelization also gives them a warmer (rather than jarring) flavor. Try it at least once, and you might become an onion person.
Also read about: A Definitive Ranking of Bubble Tea Toppings
3. Pickles
Pickles are one of my favorite foods. I could eat them in any form, whether it's by themselves in their natural form, as a juice or on any food you could imagine. Obviously, I love them on burgers. Despite being a cold ingredient, they still complement the burger, and they aren't too bad when soggy, either.
2. Cheese
Nine times out of 10, I'm ordering a cheeseburger, not a hamburger. Hamburgers are too dry. The only time I can live without cheese is if it's in one of those grilled burgers I mentioned earlier. That is because it has marinated meat, and the flavor speaks for itself.
(via Shutterstock)
1. Condiments
A burger cannot exist without condiments. I'm at the point where I won't eat a burger without any condiments, including one with marinated meat. Most of the flavors are derived from ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise or any other condiment I choose. It's also one of the only ways you can save a dry burger (regardless if it's the meat or bun that is lacking hydration).
Curious to discover our other food opinions? Click HERE to find our definitive ranking of every sparkling water in Aura Bora's sampler variety pack.