How to Avoid Entering a Black Hole of Texting With Your Crush

Have you ever found yourself in a black hole of texting with your crush?

This fun dating phenomenon revolves around carrying on a digital conversation with your crush that… Never. Goes. Anywhere. It may have started out on a positive note. After all, texting gives you and your crush a chance to bond and get to know one another free from the pressure of a full-fledged date. But suddenly you realize that, although you're texting fairly frequent, you never hang out in person.

And that's where the black hole of texting comes in. You and your crush start sending each other stupid, unimportant stuff with no end in sight. Neither of you cuts off the communication, but you don't make an effort to change it either.

So how do you avoid entering a black hole of texting with your crush? Keep scrolling for our best tips.

Ask For An In-Person Hang Early

The key to beating a black hole of texting is to get ahead of it early. The more it becomes a habit to text with your crush, the more difficult it is to change up that dynamic and ask for an in-person hang. If you've been texting for a couple days and your crush hasn't made a move to ask you to hang out, it's time to take matters into your own hands.

To beat the black hole, ask for an in-person hang early, but not too early. Give your texting anywhere from a couple days to a week to develop. That way, you give your crush an opportunity to ask you out before you have to do the dirty work. If nothing has developed after a week, casually ask them for a low-pressure hang. You could even invite them to a group activity, allowing the two of you to hang out without actually asking them on a date. By asking for an in-person hangout early, you stop the black hole before it begins and ensure that your relationship actually goes somewhere instead of being stranding in the digital world forever.

the vampire diaries - bonnie texting with matt in the background

(The Vampire Diaries via The CW)


Respond Sporadically

If you're too nervous to ask your crush out yourself, there are other ways to avoid a texting black hole. It's easy to get lost in texting someone if they always respond to you and happily carry on the conversation. Therefore, to avoid a phone-based relationship, make your texting less reliable.

If you've been texting for a while with no request for an in-person hang, it's time for a change. Stop asking so many questions in order to keep the conversation going. Wait a few hours before you text back. Stop responding to every message. In general, just make it a little more difficult for your crush to get ahold of you. If they really like you and want to hang out, they'll realize that they need to put in more effort. If they stop responding, they never had serious intentions with you in the first place. Either way, you'll get a more solid answer regarding their feelings and avoid a months-long text relationship that doesn't go anywhere.


Withhold Information

In order to avoid a black hole of texting, you have to give your crush a reason to meet up. If they can learn everything about you over the phone, there isn't much point in repeating the same conversations on a date. To initiate an in-person hang, don't tell them everything over text.

When you crush asks a question, particularly one with a complicated or long answer, tell them that you'll have that conversation in person. A cute and playful "you'll have to wait for our first date!" text serves two purposes. One, it actually gives the two of you a reason to go on a date, since you'll still have more to learn about each other. Two, it lets your crush know that you want to go on a date, without directly asking for one. Much like responding sporadically, this tactic involves a little game-playing. However, if your crush is genuinely interested in you, it's sure to be effective.

Sierra Burgess Is a Loser: Sierra texting while leaning in bed

(Sierra Burgess Is A Loser via Netflix)


Be Honest

Of course, we always recommend taking the honest route instead of playing games. Whether you've been texting with your crush for a while with no results or you're just starting to get nervous about the status of your relationship, a little honest communication can change the entire outcome.

Instead of beating around the bush, reach out and ask your crush why you haven't hung out. You can even state that you're not interested in a text-only relationship, and that you need more than that if things are going to continue. This is especially useful if you've tried to get your crush to hang out, but have been shot down every time.

By honestly telling them where you stand, you'll finally get a response regarding their feelings for you. If they continue to avoid an in-person hang, they just don't care about you that much. However, it's also possible that they were just as nervous as you were. A direct conversation might be all they needed to get past the awkwardness and initiate an actual date, moving your relationship out of texting land forever.


Looking for more texting advice? Click HERE for five red flags that mean you're texting way too much.