Want to Be More Likeable? A Life Coach Guides You Through a Simple, Four-Step Process
I bet you know someone who walks into any room and grabs the attention of everyone in that space.
There's the girl who's always giggling as the guys surrounding her make silly small talk and the girls who walk past her jump at the chance to compliment her on, well, everything; and that one guy who manages to get along with the jocks, the school band members and everyone in between. There are always those people.
What makes someone so darn likeable, you may ask?
Likeability isn't something you're born with. Anyone can grow to be likeable by putting in the effort and taking on particular practices.
Sweety High got the lowdown on likeability by chatting with Emma Baltodano, a Los Angeles, California-based Certified Integrative Wellness Life Coach and Founder of Lemonade Life Coaching.
Scroll below for her guidance on how to become one of those people.
1. Exude Confidence and Put a Smile on Your Face
It's not always easy to look like you're having the time of your life. But if you're going to put yourself out in a social space, you may as well make the most of it, right? So even if you need to fake it til ya make it on a particular occasion, you should absolutely walk into a room looking "confident and friendly," Emma advises.
"First impressions go a long way," she says. "Some research has said that as much of 90% of that first impression is created by body language. Walk into a room standing up straight with your head held high and a welcome expression on your face and people are more likely to gravitate to you—you look confident and friendly, which are both things that put other people at ease. With that kind of body language, you will also make yourself feel good. There have been studies to show that good posture and a happy expression can affect your mood for the positive."
2. Perk Up Your Ears
People are drawn to "a good listener," Emma notes. "Do you know how few people genuinely listen to the person talking to them? Most of us just wait to interject and relate what the other person is saying to our own experience. 'You're sick? Oh, I was sick once… I felt terrible… I took weeks to get better… I found this great remedy…' Suddenly it's all about you again."
Instead, Emma suggests taking a slightly different approach.
She says, "Try this: 'You're sick? I'm so sorry to hear that. When did you get sick? How are you feeling? Is there anything that makes you feel better?' Allowing someone else to talk, and genuinely listening to what they are saying and responding back with makes someone feel heard and important. It makes the person doing the listening seem like the kindest person in the world, and, of course, instantly likeable!"
3. Exercise Your Memory!
"Remembering someone's name, and repeating it often in your conversation with them helps [increase your likeability], too" Emma explains. "It says, 'I remember you. You are important to me.' Actually liking and being interested in other people makes you more likeable."
We know this one can be a toughie because with so much going on in your head, a stranger's name may be the furthest thing from your mind. But you'll want to make that memory sacrifice to achieve greater likeability.
4. Be Genuine
"People love sincerity, and insincerity really stinks!" she says. "If what you are saying or doing comes from the heart, then it is incredibly compelling."
To put it in simple terms: "If you like yourself and recognize that your best friend and partner in this life is you, then that will come across so well to other people," she explains. "Do things because you love them, not because you think it will make other people love you, and then, funnily enough, because you are real and passionate, people will want to come along for the ride."
If you've enjoyed reading Emma's pointers and want to improve other aspects of your life, she encourages you to shoot her a note: firstname.lastname@example.org. She specializes in moving people towards fulfillment and balance in all four body systems: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.
Because we're all about feeling confident over here, read THIS story about how the simple process of getting her nails done makes Brittney feel like a whole new person!