A Beginner's Guide to Flirting

While some people are naturally flirty and seem to just ooze charisma with every interaction, others may find flirting a bit more difficult.

If you identify more as the latter kind of person, worry not—anyone can become an expert at flirting! However, it takes some practice, as well as a bit of good advice. And while we can't force you to put these tactics to the test, we can help you know where to start next time you face yourself in a flirtaciously frustrating situation. All you need to do is reference our beginner's guide to flirting, which we have for you right here with plenty of tips and tricks that will have you flirting like a pro in no time.

1. Do What Feels Natural to You

If you're a true novice at flirting, it might seem like any type of flirting feels foreign. However, there are surely some things that come naturally to you when you're speaking with someone you like, and all you need to do is pinpoint those things so you can fine-tune them. This also means that you shouldn't try stronger tactics that aren't so easy for you to do right off the bat, as this can just come off as awkward to the person you're actually trying to impress.

Shutterstock: Couple flirting in coffee shop girl is shy

(via Shutterstock)


Also read about: 15 Cheerful Good Morning Texts to Start Your Crush's Day on the Right Note


2. Two Words: Body Language

When it comes to flirting, actions really do speak louder than words. The importance of body language cannot be overstated, especially when talking about flirting. You can literally say the same thing to a person but be posed/responsive in different ways, and you'll have two entirely different reactions/experiences. A few basic notes to mastering proper body language when flirting:

  • Stay open (AKA try not to cross your arms or appear otherwise displeased)
  • Nod your head at certain things they say to show interest
  • If they're comfortable with it, touch their arm or hand when you get excited about something you're talking about
  • Use your hands (place them under your chin, tuck your hair behind your ear or something else that feels natural in the moment)
  • Practice your "smize" (smiling with your eyes)


3. Be Confident (Even If You Have to Fake It at First)

If there's one tip to flirting that runs through all of these, it's this: confidence. Confidence is attractive, even if it's slightly feigned. If you approach a flirty situation feeling incredibly insecure, the other person is likely going to have no idea that you're interested in them and/or be potentially turned off by it. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to ever feel insecure—that's a totally human emotion that's normal to experience. However, you really can fake it 'til you make it when it comes to confidence, and you'll thank us later if you give it a go.

Shutterstock: Couple flirting talking and laughing at park

(via Shutterstock)


Also Read About: 4 Easy Ways to Become More Confident


4. Talk About Things You Love

When someone is talking about something they're passionate about, they just light up in a way that can't be compared to anything else. Your eyes get bigger, your body language gets less tense and you simply can't stop smiling. This is extremely attractive to someone that's interested in you, so it's a good place to practice flirting if other tactics just don't feel right to you (but just remember to actually ask them questions back/let them talk once in a while so it isn't a one-sided conversation, of course).


5. Compliments Are Key

If you struggle with social anxiety or just don't find flirting as easy as others seem to, getting good at giving compliments can get you far in life. While this applies to other situations as well—like making friends at a new school or meeting someone's parents for the first time—it's especially powerful when it comes to flirting. Everyone likes hearing nice things about themselves, and it's a great way to get a particular person of interest to warm up to you if you have little else to talk about. Not only will they associate you with that good feeling of being complimented, but it can also get them talking. There are a few types of compliments you can give, with benefits to each:

  • Compliments about a physical feature (eyes, teeth etc.)—these compliments can go a little deeper, as you're noting something that's integral to the person and making them feel less insecure.
  • Compliments about particular items (a shirt, watch, earring or other accessory)—a compliment about something someone is wearing can get them talking, making it a great ice breaker.


(via Shutterstock)


Also Read About: Why Complimenting People Is The Easiest Way to Make Friends


6. When in Doubt, Find a Way to Laugh

Just like what we said about compliments, laughter makes people feel good. If you can make someone laugh, you're pretty much winning the flirting game already. Of course, this one can take some practice if you're not sure what someone's sense of humor is like, but keeping the conversation light and, well, flirty can help lead it down a cheeky, fun-yet-teasing route.


And there you have it, the beginner's guide to flirting. Of course, this is mainly in-person advice, so you may still have some work to do when it comes to flirting over text. Don't worry though, we won't leave you completely in the dark on that one though. Just click HERE for some flirty texts to send to your crush to help them get the point.