5 Bizarre Things Guys Shared With Me on First Dates This Year

When it comes to confidence in the dating department, I'm not lacking.

While I indeed have some lovely issues (who doesn't?), overall, I'm a good catch. I mean, it's not like what I deal with is any more severe than other girls out there who are dating their dream partners. I have a full-time job, I have dreams and passions, I have a supportive family and solid group of friends, and I think I'm at least decent looking. So, yeah, not terrible.

(The Sun Is Also a Star via Warner Bros. Pictures)

Yet, my self-esteem is occasionally tampered with because I end up on dates with weirdos. Like, not silly, quirky, maybe slightly unmotivated dudes—I'm talking straight-up weirdos, who come off insanely inexperienced on dates. Following a string of interactions with these types, it has me wondering why I'm not attracting anyone I'm even slightly, slightly intrigued by or attracted to. It just makes no sense. I have a gorgeous group of successful, fun, fantastic friends—but when it comes to finding an actual life partner, I feel like a goldfish trying to stay afloat in the Pacific Ocean.

If you're curious to know more, keep reading for bizarre things five different guys shared with me on first dates this year:

 

'I Legally Changed My Name to My Dog's'

I legit don't even know how I'm writing this right now. This can't be real. This guy had so many bizarre red flags, but the one I'm about to share is the most story-worthy. Let's begin by saying he was a nice guy and he had career passions. He was also very complimentary and engaging, though I could sense right off the bat we wouldn't run off into the sunset together. But I stuck around for a little while on our date since he seemed respectful enough.

His name definitely piqued some curiosity. I mean, my name is unique, but it's not a word. His name is Shadow. Naturally, I asked how it came to be. He chuckled, and without hesitation (I'd be way embarrassed to share this truth off the bat with a stranger), he explained that he went through a really dark phase in his life, and once he came out of it, he wanted to erase that time. He therefore legally changed his name to that of his beloved late dog.

I think I was in such shock that I didn't process any further explanation. Like, did your friends and family think this was strange? Was it confusing? Why are you telling me this? As the date progressed, things got a little odder. Again, I never saw us going on a second date in the first place, but this, among many other things, just blew me out of the water.

(Snow Dogs via Walt Disney Pictures)

 

'I Don't Listen to Music'

If you take a look at any of my dating profiles or do a minor search about me online, it's pretty clear I'm into music. I don't expect that everyone I meet is going to be an editor at Billboard, or that they have 10 years of Coachella under their belt. But, to say you don't listen to music—and to say that to me, of all people, is just plain weird.

Even if music isn't your thing, or you're one of those, "I like everything but country" types, to say you straight-up don't listen to music is wholly bizarre. This guy went as far as to say that when he's at the gym (somewhere he goes frequently), he wears earplugs to tune the music out! I asked if he has like one favorite singer or one favorite song—nope!

Again, music doesn't need to be a passion for you, but I think there's something off about you in general if you never play it in your car, or if you don't use it as a background accompaniment to cooking or hosting a party, or, my gosh, if you don't at least embrace it at the gym! Spoiler alert: The guy was a complete dud all around, so this whole music thing tracked pretty well, but my golly, it was one of the strangest things I'd ever heard.

(via Shutterstock)

 

'I Looked You Up on All of Your Online Accounts'

When you go on a first date nowadays, you can pretty much expect the other person to know a ton about you without even exchanging in-person hellos. The joys of Google and social media leave little to the imagination when it comes to getting to know the basics about someone.

That said, online "stalking" is something we all know about, but don't talk about—at least not on the first date. I'm at a disadvantage, given that my name (first and last) is very unique. Finding everything you could possibly want to know about Dahvi Shira in Los Angeles is a mere click away. But don't tell me that. I don't know what was stranger about the fella I'm referring to here: the fact that he shared this with me promptly after sitting down (I looked up your social media accounts and your blogs), or the fact that he went into our date well aware we had absolutely nothing—and I mean nothing—in common.

This one ranks high on my definitive ranking of "biggest wastes of time" dates. I sat there, already knowing his curiosities were nonexistent, and every time I asked him a question, he had an incredibly dull answer on the complete opposite extreme of what would be mine. I wasn't crazily drawn to him before we met, but I liked the fact that he was Jewish and worked at a big sports network. I'm not into sports, but I think it's admirable to land a semi-high-up position at such an establishment, and it also seems like a gig for fairly social people. Guess he was the rare exception, because he basically told me he's the recluse of the office, who goes there to get his job done, with not much human interaction throughout the day. Fun!

As if the immense lack of chemistry wasn't enough, the icing on the cake of this awful date was his suggestion to meet for coffee (worst first date idea ever). Not only did he not even order anything because he doesn't like coffee, he proceeded to not pay for my $3.00 tea. Needless to say, our interactions ceased post-meetup.

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

'I Just Lost 30 Lbs. on Weight Watchers'

I was hesitant to meet this guy in the first place. I wasn't physically attracted to him from his pics, and he was one of the most overeager potential dates I'd ever communicated with. Two strikes against him off the bat, but he seemed respectful, had similar(ish) career passions and suggested a nice enough place for our date. I kind of already knew I wouldn't be into him romantically, but my friends insisted I give it a go. #YOLO, right?

When I arrived at the restaurant, I instantly got good vibes. He was well-spoken and engaging, well-educated and family-oriented. While I did determine 10 minutes in that I definitely got more of a friend vibe between us, I continued to enjoy the evening, as there was no reason not to. We seemed to be in two totally different places in our lives, which would prevent things from moving forward on a dating level, but I was impressed with how effortlessly the conversation between us flowed. That is, until there was one minor lull at the end of the night…

"I just lost 30 pounds—on Weight Watchers," he blurted out. "It's pretty awesome." Uhh… 

Listen, we've all had our share of food-related triumphs and tribulations. I'm the first to admit I talk about and think about food more than most other things—and while I certainly don't have a problem, it's not like it's the furthest thing from my mind. But my gosh—my eating habits are off the table (pun intended) on a first date! Sure, it's absolutely fun to discuss favorite restaurants, favorite things to cook, best meal I've ever had, etc., but talking about weight-loss, gain, any sort of paid eating plan—please, just don't. Kudos to you for dedicating yourself to losing weight (seriously, I know it's challenging), but bringing it up for absolutely no reason is a turnoff.

As if that wasn't odd enough, during the next lull in convo (this time, the bill was fortunately on its way—one he took care of, thankfully), he then brought up the fact that he lost all the hair on his head (he still has lots of facial hair). "I really wish I had hair," he said, again out of the blue. What do I even say to that? "Yeah, I dunno… that sucks," I shrugged.

The date ended and we hugged. "I'd love to do this again!" he said. I uttered a "yeah, sure, text me," which eventually led to me sending a friend-vibe text days later when I was unable to ghost him effectively.

(via Unsplash)

 

'I Have Hair Plugs'

Speaking of awkward hair comments…

Okay, let me preface this by saying of everyone on this list, "hair plug guy" seemed the most promising. We were set up by friends, he's a practicing lawyer, has a close-knit family, good conversationalist, smart, you get the idea. The only issue (as seems to be a pattern!) is I wasn't physically attracted to him. And while I look back and stand my ground on my decision not to pursue things with him based on aesthetics, at the time, I was trying to do the whole "being more open" thing. So I stayed on the date for like three hours, and near the end, I thought, okay, I could probably be down to give this guy at least one more go.

We were seated at a tiny table in a dim-lit restaurant, where intimate conversation was flowing. At one point, he grabbed my knee. I hoped this wouldn't lead to a kiss (because that's not what I wanted at this point), but I didn't move his hand. He got a little closer, but things were still cool. Then, yet again, much like guy No. 4, a lull in the conversation led him to blurt out: "I have hair plugs. This ::points:: is hair plugs."

Oh… cool? What on earth do you say to that? And why are you telling me that? I didn't know he had them, couldn't tell, didn't need to know. It's not the worst thing ever, but also not really what I'd call first date conversation. Needless to say, the comment sealed the deal on my decision not to pursue a second date. I think he got the hint, because I seemed a bit standoffish for the remaining 20 minutes we were at the table, and didn't hear from him again. Sigh.

(The Perfect Date via Netflix)

 

Need more relatable dating content? Click HERE for four dating clichés I refuse to follow!