If there’s one thing I’ve come to expect from Disney, it’s some massively unrealistic expectations for my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Disney fan through and through, but I’m also tremendously bitter that the world of Disney is not even a little bit representative of my actual reality.
Not sure what I’m talking about? Keep scrolling for a painfully accurate expectations vs. reality: Disney edition.
Waking Up in the Morning
Expectation: Waking up in the morning is the most joyful part of the day. Birds will chirp softly and you’ll wake from sleep gently, stretching to get out all your little kinks. Your hair will look totally perfect and your skin will be glowing and flawless from all that beauty sleep you just got. You’ll tumble right out of bed and hum a little tune while you prep for a day.
(Cinderella via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: Your alarm clock blares angrily, totally rattling you and giving you a mini panic attack every time it goes off. Somehow during the night you managed to tangle yourself all up in your blankets, causing a lot of sweat and an inability to dislodge your arm to hit the snooze button. Your hair resembles a rat’s nest and you’re pretty sure there’s some dried drool in the corner of your mouth. Plus, you’re already late somehow so you just toss on whatever clothes are closest and head out the door.
Meeting Someone You Like
Expectation: After all your years of daydreaming, you’ll meet someone that you massively connect with. In fact, you’ll likely have had a dream about this person right beforehand and then boom! they waltz right into your life (literally). Despite the fact that the two of you don’t know each other, they’ll be totally in love with you, always telling you how beautiful you are and how they’ve never met anyone quite like you.
(Sleeping Beauty via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: You met someone you liked, but it was hardly a fairytale. They’re nice and sweet, but sometimes they don’t respond to your text messages and you’re not totally certain how much they actually like you. They prefer making jokes at your expense rather than telling you how pretty you are, and sometimes they say you’re cool, but you’ve heard them say that to everyone. Plus, they might be talking to that gorgeous sophomore in your math class, but you’re not really sure yet.
Expectation: Long, thick, flowing, healthy hair is just a given. Split ends are definitely not a thing, and your hair will always look amazing, even though no one ever seems to use a comb. It will flow perfectly in the wind and all you need to pull it back is a small piece of ribbon.
(Pocahontas via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: You can’t even remember when you last had a really good hair day. No matter how much you brush it, it always gets tangled again and frizz seems to totally take over at the slightest sign of humidity. Even the smallest wind sends your hair into a frenzy, blowing it into your mouth, ruining your lipstick and inhibiting your eyesight. And no way on earth could you ever pull your hair back with a ribbon—sometimes four rubber bands aren’t enough to tame the beast.
Expectation: Not only are all animals your best friends, they’re also insanely useful if you ever need help with anything, particularly if it involves cleaning or getting dressed. They understand all your feelings, so you can just confide everything in them, and they’re always so sympathetic and understanding, even if they can’t communicate their care through words.
(Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: Animals are definitely your best friends, but they’re far from helpful. In fact, having an animal around means you’re going to have to do twice the amount of cleaning up and keeping things in order, and they’ll probably still find a way to make a mess. Also, not all animals should be your friends. If they’re meant to live outside, that’s definitely where they should stay. The sympathy factor is also lacking, considering you tried to tell your dog about your romantic troubles and they just got up and walked away when they realized you didn’t have a treat.
Expectation: True love doesn’t take work, true love is a feeling that fixes everything that’s wrong in your life. You don’t even need to talk to the person really, you’ll just know when you meet them that things are going to work out between the two of you. Which also means there’s no need to wait or take the relationship slow, just go ahead and jump right into marriage! Things will definitely work out.
(The Little Mermaid via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: True love is hard and messy and not always the most fun thing you’ve ever experienced. Also, it doesn’t happen with just one person. In fact, it kind of feels like you fall in love every time you see a cute boy, so when you feel the actual love feelings it’s often terribly confusing. Also, good relationships take time. As reality TV has shown, people can’t just rush into a marriage. You have to figure out if the two of you are actually compatible first.
Expectation: Singing isn’t only an essential part of life, it’s also something that everyone has a talent for. Anyone can sing at any time about anything with perfect pitch and tone. And singing what you’re doing to narrate your life is a totally normal activity.
(Beauty and the Beast via Walt Disney Pictures)
Reality: No one sings and not everyone should sing. Very few people have an actual talent for it, and if you try to narrate your daily life through song everyone will literally hate you.
Looking for more realistic Disney content? Click HERE for a definitive ranking of Disney couples, based on whether they would last IRL.