Things People Don't Tell You About Long-Term Relationships

We've got some tough news for everyone: Relationships are hard.

Even though it's nice to imagine that finding the right person will result in a perfect happily ever after, free from any conflict, it's just not the case. In fact, the longer you're with someone, the more opportunities you have for things to go wrong.

Don't believe us? Keep scrolling for six things people don't tell you about long-term relationships.

It Will Feel Boring Sometimes

The beginning of a relationship is always fresh and exciting. You're learning new things about your person every day, and each experience feels like a thrilling adventure. However, the longer you're with someone, the more  those feelings will start to fade away. In fact, there are times when your relationship will feel straight-up boring. It doesn't at all mean you're bad together, it just means that you've moved past the stage of being so infatuated with each other that everything you do together is the coolest thing ever.

Chuck and Blair Gossip Girl

(Gossip Girl via The CW)

 

You'll Question If It's Right

The truly upsetting thing about choosing to date someone long-term is that you'll never be able to know that it's right. There's no magic formula or feeling that can make you 100% positive you've found the right person for you. Part of being with someone is following how you feel and trusting your partner, which means you'll definitely have moments where you question if this relationship is right. Time doesn't necessarily equal security, and questioning the strength of your relationship isn't a sign that you're with the wrong person—it's just part of the natural progression of building a long-term relationship.

 

You Might Not Always Feel Happy

The balance of happiness in your relationship is a tricky thing to navigate. While feeling genuinely unhappy should always be a bad sign, being in a long-term relationship doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be at optimum levels of happiness all the time. There are definitely going to be times when you're frustrated or annoyed with your partner, or even moments when outside stresses start to invade the joy in your relationship. Being with someone for a long time doesn't mean that it's all going to be smooth-sailing. Discontented moments are still bound to happen, and how you deal with them will undoubtedly affect the future of your relationship.

Happy Couple Piggy Back Ride

(via Unpslash)

 

The Things You Love About Them Might Become the Things You Hate

It's sad, but true—more time with your partner doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to fall more deeply in love with their every quality. At one time, their stubbornness could have been endearing and challenging, an awesome sign that they were strongly rooted in their convictions. Now, however, the fact that they refuse to see anyone's side but their own is the root cause of most of your arguments. Their lighthearted approach to life may have been the thing that drew you to them, but the fact that you can't have a serious conversation without them making a joke is driving you crazy.

While more time together is essential for that coveted lifelong relationship, it more often than not only serves to expose that you and your partner are nearly as compatible as you once thought.

 

Crushes Don't Necessarily Stop

It's a controversial opinion, but having crushes while you're in a long-term relationship is honestly pretty normal. Whether it's a pop culture obsession or a slight infatuation with the cutie in your math class, crushes don't necessarily go away just because you found someone you truly care about. You can't always control how you feel, and a really great conversation or an unexpected connection might elicit a few uncontrollable butterflies in your stomach.

It's important to remember that having a crush and having feelings for someone are two very different experiences. If your thoughts are starting to cross the line into genuine emotion for someone other than your S.O., you might need to re-examine your relationship. If not, a few butterflies are nothing to be concerned about.

Cory and Topanga Wincing

(Girl Meets World via The Disney Channel)

 

It's More About Choice Than Emotion

As anyone who's ever felt anything ever will tell you, emotions are not to be relied upon. They're fickle and unstable, and oftentimes you don't even fully know where they're coming from. In a long-term relationship, your feelings for your S.O. are going to change with time. You should obviously still feel a deep sense of love for them, but that obsessive infatuation that you felt at the beginning is going to fade.

A long-term relationship is much more driven by choice than it is by emotion. At some point, your thoughts have to take over and you have to determine whether you want to fight through the not-so-great experiences for the sake of the relationship as a whole. It becomes less about feeling like you can't live without the person, and more about deciding that you don't want to. It doesn't sound as romantic, but it's a whole lot more stable.

 

Looking for more truths about your LTR? Click HERE for 15 things you'll only understand if you're in a long-term relationship.