How to Deal If You're Dumped Amid Social Distancing
Social distancing is already difficult, but adding a breakup into the mix might feel like genuine torture.
Breakups are hard in the best of circumstances, but they're especially challenging when you have nothing to do but lay around your house and wallow in your sadness. Not only that, but you also have to deal with the anger of knowing that your S.O. chose to break-up when they were literally banned from doing it face-t0-face. It feels like a cowardly move.
Accept the Split
While you're social distancing, you don't have as many activities going on that will distract you from the pain of your breakup. With all that free time, you'll find that your mind lingers on the split. You'll over-analyze their reasoning and might even find yourself coming up with reasons why you should still be together.
Instead of trying to find ways for the two of you to reconcile, you need to accept the split. For whatever reason, your S.O. broke-up with you. Not only that, but they ended your relationship in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. That's a pretty clear sign that they really don't want to be with you.
You can't convince yourself that you might get back together or that they'll realize their mistake and beg for your forgiveness. In fact, you shouldn't even want to be with someone who would pile onto your stress in an already stressful situation. Accepting the split is the first step in moving forward, and the faster you can do it the faster you'll heal and move on with your life.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Don't Reach Out
If there's one rule that applies after every breakup, it's that you should never reach out to your ex. Contact with your former partner interrupts your ability to heal because you're not giving yourself time to experience life without them. But when you're living in the age of social distancing, eliminating contact with your ex becomes all the harder, primarily because you have nothing to do.
During social distancing, there are only so many things that can fill your time. While you're ruminating on your breakup, you'll want to talk to your ex, if only to chat with someone you're comfortable with. However, your goal should be to cease contact completely. Reaching out to your ex will only make you feel worse. Don't allow your sad brain to trick you into sending that text. Stay strong and you'll heal much more quickly.
We know, we know—this tip sounds ridiculous, but hear us out for a second. While dealing with a breakup during social distancing is painful, your ex actually did you a big favor. They could have waited until things were back to normal to end the relationship, but then you would have been dealing with a breakup when you could have been celebrating the ability to actually go outside.
While the breakup sucks right now, it allows you to mourn the relationship and heal without putting a dark cloud over your fun times. You can recover from your breakup while you have nothing to do but stay at home, and be happy and fully healed when you can venture outside once again.
Find New Hobbies
While dealing with a breakup during social distancing is challenging in many ways, it can also be a powerful opportunity to focus on yourself. Instead of wasting your time Instagram-stalking your ex, try to find new hobbies that you're genuinely interested in. Read a book, try a new exercise, do a little online shopping—anything that takes your mind off your breakup will be helpful during this time. It's a perfect time to learn about yourself and what you do and don't like—take advantage of it!
Don't Isolate Yourself
Obviously you have no choice but to physically isolate yourself during this time. But just because you can't see your friends in person doesn't mean you should pull away emotionally. If your S.O. dumps you in the middle of social distancing, it feels like even more of an excuse to pull into yourself and spend your days and nights crying in bed.
Unfortunately, isolating yourself will only make things worse. You'll stew on your relationship and breakup, allowing your anger and bitterness to grow. Instead, try planning some quality time with friends. Reach out to coordinate a virtual movie night or simply hop onto a quick FaceTime with a different pal at least once a day. A little social interaction, even if it's virtual, will help keep you in a more positive headspace when you're taking an emotional beating.
Focus on Self-Care
If you're trying to recover from a breakup during social distancing, it's time to focus all your energy on self-care. Make every night an at-home spa night. Put on all your face masks, take long baths, wear comfy clothes—basically just focus all your energy on taking care of yourself. While it won't eliminate the emotional pain you're feeling, it will soothe you and allow you to relax. It's the perfect time to focus on you and you alone, which could end up being a blessing n disguise.
Don't Pressure Yourself
Although many of these tips can help you recover from your breakup more quickly, the most important thing you should remember is not to pressure yourself. If you slip up and text your ex, that's okay. If you can't stop crying, that's okay, too. You have to follow the process of your healing and not judge yourself too harshly when you make a mistake. It's okay to mourn the loss of your relationship and to find it difficult to move on. Don't pressure yourself into feeling better right away because it will only backfire and make you feel worse in the long run.
Feeling lonely during this period of isolation? Click HERE for our tips on how to date yourself during social distancing.