How to Identify, and Deal With, the Energy Vampires in Your Life

If you always feel completely drained after spending time with a certain person or group, you might be dealing with energy vampires.

We've heard the term bandied around a lot, but what exactly is an energy vampire? We needed to learn more, so we reached out to Jennifer O'Neill, empath specialist and author of  Energy Vampires: How to Deal With Negative People, to find out all about dealing with their toxic energy.

Sweety High: What exactly is an energy vampire?

Jennifer O'Neill: The way I explain it is that everybody vibrates at a certain frequency. If you're very happy and joyful, you can maintain a higher vibration, but when you're feeling sad, or depressed, or not having a great day, you're going to emit a lower vibration. Everybody's constantly vibrating, and it changes.

An energy vampire is someone with a lower vibration. Even though they may appear happy on the outside, that doesn't reflect how they are on the inside. They crave energy, and they need to pull energy from other people. It's like the battery on your phone. Once it gets too low, it needs to charge. That's when they seek charging stations—essentially the people with higher vibrations.

Shutterstock: Woman feels like sad third wheel as friends are laughing together over meal

(via Shutterstock)


SH: Are there different categories of energy vampire?

JO: First, you need to watch out for people who are mean, cranky and rude, or angry and frustrated. Others tend to be drama queens who get into your business and intentionally stir things up. People who tend to be sad and depressed, even if you sympathize with them, also tend to be energy vampires. Some people tend to be pessimistic, negative thinkers. Also, people who try to live through your successes or attach to you as a follower and ride your coattails. Others are manipulative. They're people who don't have your best interests at heart. Lastly, there are toxic relationships. These people are unhealthy and they want to keep you down and not being your best self.


SH: How can we tell if we're being drained by an energy vampire?

JO: You'll feel it in their physical body, even though they're pulling energy from your spiritual one. You might feel very tired or drained, like you need to take a nap. Maybe after spending time with a group of friends you'll suddenly feel exhausted. Being around a lot of people might even make you shaky or weak. You might relate these symptoms to things like low blood sugar or bad eating, but you'll notice a pattern to these feelings. Maybe you just ate a healthy meal, and that won't make sense.

Some people will feel physically ill, or nauseous. Most of us are sensitive and really in tune with that intuition. Everybody's born with an ability to read energy, but as we get older, many of us lose touch with it. But even if you're in tune with the energies around you, you might not always recognize them. Be careful if something doesn't feel quite right to you.

You might also feel anxious. I've noticed many young people are strong sensitives, and very in tune with spiritual energies, and that causes a lot of anxiety issues. They feel this energy all the time, and they're overloaded with it, particularly while they're around a group of people, or shortly after they've left.

Most people are prone to being drained by an energy vampire unless they're empaths who are very aware and can read the energy. Unless you can recognize that you always feel off in certain situations or around certain people, and have that heightened awareness to notice those patterns, you're susceptible. But awareness makes a difference. When you're conscious of the people who make you feel that way, you can make shifts in your life.

Unsplash: Tired woman leaning against wall near window

(via Unsplash)


SH: How can we protect ourselves from these negative effects?

JO: Grounding techniques are helpful. Nature is very grounding, as is water, such as showers or swimming. If you're going to be around people who usually make you feel that way, showering afterward is really beneficial. Imagine that negative energy being washed away from you. It also puts energetic legs through your feet into the ground, replacing the energy you've picked up.

Eating, weirdly enough, is also a good technique because your digestive system grounds you. Gemstones, such as hematite, tourmaline, obsidian and amethyst are really good for grounding and protection around an energy vampire, as is incense.

Shutterstock: Ring of chakra-balancing gemstones

(via Shutterstock)

If you start feeling off, you can also meditate or exercise. Go on a run, or to the gym or to yoga. Physical exercise is like grounding on steroids because it strengthens your energy. When you keep the physical body strong, it also creates a very strong energetic barrier around you. You need to balance both. Exercise, followed by a shower, can't be beat. I also have a protective chi meditation specifically for energy strengthening.

If you're not in a situation where you can shower or exercise, go into the bathroom and run cold water on your hands, then put them on the back of your neck. Anything cold will help with that chakra, closing off the strong center that makes you very susceptible to having energy pulled from you. It's like a cork to keep in your energy.


SH: How can empaths deal with their sensitivity to these energies?

JO: I'm psychic and have been doing this for 20 years, and I'm still never going to not feel unwell around certain people. The key is maintenance and understanding what needs to be done afterward. It's not about if it's going to happen. It's about to do when it happens.

If you notice this happening, you're highly sensitive and most likely an empath. With that sensitivity, you might end up having it worse than the average person. But you can't just ignore these feelings until they go away. Accept your abilities. They can keep you safe and steer you away from bad situations. You might feel like have no logical reason for your intuition, because you don't have any proof, and you don't understand it, but follow your gut about people and your intuition can take you far in life.


You can also click HERE to go to Jennifer's website and download her book Energy Vampires: How to Deal With Negative People for free.


Love hearing about chakras and energy? Click HERE to find out what happened when we went to a professional to clear our energies.