How to Feel Confident During a Date

Dates are super stressful—and most of their frustration is out of our control.

We go into these meetups with the hopes of potentially furthering a connection, only to find someone is a total jerk or we have zero chemistry with them—or, we were so nervous the entire time that we didn't really give ourselves a fair chance to shine.

Sabrina smiling at Harvey while cuddling in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

(Chilling Adventures of Sabrina via Netflix)

While there are certainly some people who aren't compatible, or some potential suitors who are just plain awful, many times we go on dates that are sabotaged because of our own insecurities. Luckily, we're here to help you avoid that happening ever again.

Keep reading for five ways to feel confident during a date.

1. Wear Something That Makes You Feel 100% Comfortable

This is the most important and most overlooked date necessity! Far too often, we focus on looking "hot" more than we do about wearing something flattering or feeling like we look our best. Of course, you aren't going to go to a nice dinner in a sweatshirt and flip-flops, but trying to force yourself into the tiniest bodycon dress or tightest-fitting denim isn't going to do anything except make you feel uncomfortable all night. Do not wear anything you have to adjust or pull up or down, because we assure you that will be on your mind all night instead of what really matters.

Before you leave the house, ask yourself if you feel 100% confident in what you're wearing, even down to the smallest accessory. If not, take something off or change altogether. While your appearance is certainly not all there is to you, the comfort factor is much more about you, and much less about them. Whenever we feel good in what we're wearing (even if it's the same thing we wear every day), we always feel better overall.


(The Perfect Date via Netflix)

2. Have Some General Conversation Topics and Responses at the Ready

If you know your date loves hockey, dig up a little dirt on key players in the sport. If you know they go to concerts like it's their job, have a story prepared about the wildest show you've been to, or who you most want to see live. If you're pretty much in the dark about their interests or there's a lull in conversation, even asking about general dating horror stories is always a good icebreaker. Obviously, steer clear of convos about your ex, but going into detail about the guy who brought his friends along for your intimate dinner date is a surefire win! Any opportunity to find either common ground or humor will keep conversation flowing, and therefore have you feeling confident throughout your interaction.

3. Get There Early

Being attentive to time is important in life, whether it be a date, a job interview or plans with a friend. It shows you respect your obligation and value someone else's time. That said, it'also important because when you don't give yourself enough time to get settled before something starts, it will set the entire experience off. You'll be frazzled going into it, and it will be very evident through the entirety of your outing. While arriving on time is an absolute must, take it a step further and get there early, to make a last minute run to the restroom, to take care of any final texts and to give yourself one more good look in the mirror. Most importantly, a few extra minutes to give yourself that powerful pep talk will do wonders.

Unsplash: woman staring in a mirror at herself

(via Unsplash)

4. Don't Order a Messy Meal

If it were up to us, we'd order chicken wings on every date. They're cheap, delicious and shareable. But, they're also a disaster to eat. While they're indeed finger lickin' good, devouring them at a dinner table is probably not the best visual when you're just getting acquainted with someone. And while sushi, for example, is a popular dinner date option, steer clear of anything over-the-top. That Rainbow Roll may sound appetizing, but watching half of it fall into your lap? Not so much. When it comes to eating on dates, the simpler, the better. Save the sloppy stuff for when you're past the getting-to-know-you stage.

5. Laugh Off Any Mishaps

Self-deprecation goes a long way in terms of likability and confidence (whether on a date or otherwise). While it's sometimes tough in the moment, fake it 'til ya make it and pretend you aren't fazed by something you may have said or done that you wish you could take back. A cute giggle or a "whoops, can't take me anywhere!" will get you much further than a five-minute explanation about how you're so embarrassed and wish you could revert your actions. While you may be dying inside, you'll feel even worse if your outing is overtaken by a self-conscious pity party.

Lara Jean smiling at Josh while sitting on the bleachers in a scene from To All the Boys I've Loved Before

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)


Now that you know how to knock the date out of the park once you're on it, HERE's the best way to prepare!