How to Deal With a Friend Who's Always in 'Crisis' Mode

Don't get us wrong—we aren't downplaying a friend who's going through a legitimately tough time.

But do you happen to know someone who'always in a so-called "crisis"? Whether it's endless dating drama, or they simply can't decide what to wear on a night out, do you have a friend who's constantly relying on you to listen to them or provide help in a state of urgency that really isn't that serious?

If you feel bogged down by someone else's (relatively minor) problems, keep reading for how to deal with a friend who's always in "crisis" mode.


1. Don't Reply to Them Right Away

When a person calls or texts you in a dire state, they expect you to get back to them immediately. By you holding off for however long you deem necessary, you're not only giving them the opportunity to get ahold of someone else, but you're subtly letting them know that their needs aren't your priority at the moment. Whether that's actually the case, or you were simply just busy, they'll never have to know.


(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)



2. Help Them Prioritize Their 'Problems'

If you're dealing with someone who legitimately believes all their issues or roadblocks are urgent, it may help to break things down for them. If they interrupt your study hours each night to ask you what they should eat for dinner as if it's the end of the world, tell them it's nothing worth stressing over and that, ultimately, a personal decision like that is theirs to make. Tell them to save their angst or neediness for something a little more serious.

Any time you feel like their reliance on you is something they can handle on their own, put that notion in their head so they'll start prioritizing when to reach out to you. If they leave a voicemail about a breakup and you think it's a valid reason to hit you up, then do whatever feels right at that moment.

Regina George talking to Cady in Mean Girls

(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)



3. Tell Them You Have No Useful Feedback to Contribute

If your friend contacts you non-stop about the S.O. or friend who she's always on and off with, and you've given her the same advice over and over, don't be afraid to say you can't be of any help, and that you're tired of always telling them the same thing. If they ask about something silly, like what to eat for dinner or what to wear out, simply say, "I have no idea. Sorry, I'm really bad at that stuff!" By continuously shunning their needy behavior, they'll (hopefully) eventually give up.


(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)



4. Be Straightforward

If all else fails, (politely) get straight to the point with this friend. If they monopolize your time when you're with friends or family, when you're studying, or when you're doing something else of importance, they need to know. Express to them that you'll always be a shoulder to lean on in the case of something truly serious, but when they constantly bombard you with trivial "traumas," it becomes distracting, and you don't want it to lead to you resenting them. If handled the right way, there's no reason for them to continue this behavior. If they're still at it or they attack you for being honest, then that'their problem, and it should give you a reason to reevaluate the friendship.

Gretchen Wieners, "Irregardless"

(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)


Need to deliver some more hard truths to a pal? HERE's how to tell a friend they're a bad listener.