What to Do When Your Friend's Crush Likes You Instead
Sometimes, navigating other people's crushes is even trickier than having ones of your own.
In fact, few situations are more complicated than when your best friend has a giant crush on someone, but that someone has a big crush on you. If you're facing this scenario yourself, here's how to navigate it like a real friend.
Turn Them Down With Kindness
If you value your friendship, dating your friend's crush is totally off-limits. Regardless of how cute the crush is, being a true friend means prioritizing your loyalty over a potential relationship. Crushes come and go, but friendships should last. Keeping secrets will only cause friction between everyone involved, and it's not worth hurting someone you really care about. Still, you should be as gentle as possible while still getting your point across.
(Star vs. the Forces of Evil via Disney XD)
Don't Tell Them About Your Friend's Feelings
You may be tempted to tell the person that your friend is crushing hard on them, but just because it's the easy way out doesn't mean that it's an excuse to reveal your friend's secret. It can be extra hard to reject someone with your main justification off the table, but it's critical if you want to do what's best for your friend.
Find Out If They're Interested in Anyone Else
If they're not too heartbroken by your brushoff, find out if your friend's crush is interested in anyone else. They might not reveal too much, but if there is someone else, there might still be hope for your friend. In a best-case scenario they might even blurt out that they like your friend, in which case you should (subtly) do everything in your power to encourage that.
Be Delicate With Your Friend
Again, it's no good keeping secrets from your friend. Have a gentle but straightforward conversation with them about what happened and let your friend know that you turned down the offer.
Be prepared for them to be hurt by what happened. They might even be upset with you, even though you didn't do anything wrong. It's super important to stay patient with them and be a friend even if they currently aren't interested in being yours.
Once they calm down, remind them it isn't their fault, either. Be sincere and let them know all the reasons they're amazing and totally crush-worthy, even if their crush doesn't reciprocate their feelings. It might not immediately make them feel better about the situation, but a little confidence boost can go a long way.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Stick to Your Guns
Things may still feel weird between you, your friend and their crush after the dust settles. Know that none of this is your fault, and stick to the original plan.
If their crush continues to express interest in you, be firm with them and let them know you're absolutely not interested. Your friend may even tell you that they're okay with you going out with their crush, but that would only make things extremely complicated. Jealousy is a tricky thing, and seeing you together is an entirely different beast than just thinking of you together.
The most important thing is to stay true to your word. Your friend may still be struggling with the knowledge their crush doesn't like them back, so support them through it. Be the best friend you can, and plan out activities to help them have fun again and distract them from the pain of rejection. It will get better for them, and you can help.
Need some crush advice of your own? Click HERE for the stages of having a secret crush on a friend.