What to Do If You Feel Like Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship

Friends are the best… usually.

While your friends are supposed to be a major source of happiness and fun, some pals can get a little too involved in your life. And if the lines between private and public information become blurry enough, your dearest friends can even start to negatively affect your relationship.

But how do you tell your pals to butt out without ruining your friendship? Keep scrolling for our best tips on what to do if you feel like your friends are ruining your relationship.

Ask Them About It

If you have good friends who genuinely care about you, chances are they're not trying to ruin your relationship for no reason. Before you jump to conclusions or start hurling accusations, have an honest conversation with your friends regarding their opinion of your S.O. It's very possible that they're accidentally interfering in your relationship, and actually have nothing against your new romance. If they do launch into a list of reasons why your S.O. is completely wrong for you, at least you'll address the topic immediately, rather than risking an argument that might be based on a misunderstanding.

riverdale - josie, veronica, betty

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

Consider Their Perspective

If it turns out your friends do disapprove of your relationship, it might be helpful to consider their perspective. After all, your pals know you better than a lot of people, so there's a chance that they may pick up on some incompatibilities between you and your S.O. that you've been blind to, due to your emotions.

Before you immediately discount their worries, take a moment to consider their perspective. If they bring up some valid points, it might be worth rethinking your relationship with your S.O. Even though your friends disliking your S.O. isn't necessarily cause for a breakup, most friends only want the best for you, so you should at least hear them out before you make any decisions.

 

Let Them Know How You Feel

If you've heard your friends out and you just don't agree with their opinions, you have to be honest with them about how you feel. Let them know you think their judgments are misguided, and firmly state that your S.O. is here to stay. Then, ask them kindly to be a little more welcoming to your partner, and explain that you really want them all to get along. It might not change things immediately, but it will make your position very clear to your friends. If they support you, as friends should, they'll at least try to adjust their behavior accordingly. 

pretty little liars - aria and emily laying in bed

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)

 

Keep Them Away From Your S.O.

Of course, some pals might not be quite as understanding about your feelings as you would like. If your friends don't seem to be willing to change their behavior, you're going to have to change things on your end. Annoying as it sounds, the solution may be to keep your friends and your S.O. separate. Instead of hanging out together and integrating your life, accept that your friends and your S.O. may never get along, and act accordingly. It may limit your overall time with both groups, but it will probably lead to more quality time with the people you care about most.

 

Be Open With Your S.O.

While keeping your pals and your S.O. separate can be one solution to your friend problem, being totally open with your S.O. might be just as effective. Let your partner know how you're feeling and why you're worried, and even go so far as to explain the conversations you've already had with your friends. That way, your S.O. will know to be on the lookout for potentially sabotaging behavior, lessening the effect of the damaging actions. Not only will it help you and your S.O. work together to overcome the problem, it can also help you to bond and become closer as a team.

Damon and Elena

(The Vampire Diaries via The CW)

 

Evaluate Your Friendship

We know we said you should try to keep your friends in your life, but there's a time when you should reevaluate the relationship as a whole. If your pals are interfering in your relationship from a mean-spirited place, or if their actions are a result of jealousy, they might not be the kinds of friends you need in your life. We don't think a friendship should ever end over a relationship, but your new romance can definitely reveal negative aspects of your friends that you weren't aware of. If they're being catty or unkind in their interference of your relationship, it might be time to ditch the friendship all together and find pals who actually have your best interests in mind.

 

Looking for more advice on dealing with your pals? Click HERE for how to rebuild trust in a friendship.