Compromises You Should Never Make in a Friendship
Friendships are such an important part of a happy life.
Friends act as your support system, your stress relievers and your confidants all in one beautiful package. They make you laugh, they comfort you when you cry and they generally make life a little bit easier. At least, they should.
Like all relationships, friendships require a little give and take. Whether it's deciding between the mall and a movie or arguing about whether you should eat Italian or Mexican for dinner, navigating what you should stay stubborn about and where you should loosen the reins is a normal part of all friendships. However, there are some things that just aren't up for discussion.
Keep scrolling to see 5 things you should never compromise on in a friendship.
There is an undeniable line we walk in all relationships between constant self-deprecation and an overly confident attitude. Finding the balance between knowing how awesome you are and trying not to come across as self-obsessed is a lifelong struggle.
However, you should never feel like you have to put yourself down or make yourself smaller in order to make your friends feel better about themselves. You can encourage and support your pals and still acknowledge what an awesome person you are at the same time. You should never have to compromise your self-confidence or your belief in your own worth to make your friendships stronger. If you feel like you are, it might be time to search for a new friend group.
When it comes to things that you consider important in life, it's very likely you won't match up exactly with everyone around you. Sometimes the things you hold very dear won't rank that high on the list of valued behaviors for some of your friends. While finding friends who hold the same values as you do is ideal, differing values doesn't mean that you can't be close friends with someone.
But you shouldn't have to compromise the things you believe in order to make your friendship work. Your values are a significant part of what makes you, you. Your friends should respect the things you believe in and understand that you don't want to give those things up. Sticking to your values might cost you a few relationships, but it will make you much happier in the long run.
Your Freedom to Make New Friends
Sometimes when you're close friends with someone it can be easy to settle into a comfortable pattern of behavior. You automatically assume that you'll be spending all your free time together, so it can feel like a slight betrayal when one of you messes with that plan.
That said, having a close friend—as much as you might value them—shouldn't interfere with your ability to establish relationships with other people. If you feel like you can't make new plans or pursue different friendships without your BFF getting mad at you, it might be time to create a little distance between the two of you. Your friends are not in control of your relationships, and you shouldn't have to compromise your freedom to meet new people in order to make your current friends happy.
Your Commitment to Your Hobbies
Whether it's scouring your city for the coolest up-and-coming bands or running around the soccer field on a Saturday morning, everyone has activities they truly enjoy. Finding hobbies that you really love is an important part of leading a full and happy life.
But depending on the friendships you've established, it's possible that your hobbies and your friends may compete for your attention sometimes. Whether your friends aren't interested in your leisure activity, or your chosen hobby simply takes up a lot of your time, finding the balance between pursuing your interests and making time for your friendships can be difficult.
You should never feel like you have to give up your hobbies in order to make your friendships work. If your pals are true friends, they'll support your endeavors and push you to succeed, rather than complain that it detracts from your time with them. Don't sacrifice things you love just because your friends can't get onboard.
Your (Healthy) Expectations
Plotting out expectations for your friendships can be difficult. If you enter into a friendship with too many preconceived ideas of what your friendship should be, you're just setting yourself up for failure.
But setting healthy expectations for your friendship is important. For example, expecting your friend to drop everything every time you need to talk is unfair and inconsiderate, but expecting your friend to keep a personal secret just between the two of you is a fair and healthy expectation.
Some other healthy expectations include that your friend shouldn't gossip behind your back, they shouldn't lie to you and they shouldn't criticize you or make you feel bad about yourself. These healthy expectations should not be compromised. Understanding the kind of friendship you deserve involves setting these healthy expectations and refusing to settle for friends that don't meet them.
It's pretty common knowledge that you shouldn't gossip behind your BFF's back, but does that mean you should never participate in the rumor mill? Click HERE for five things you should always consider before spreading rumors.