What to Do If Your Relationship With Your BFF Has Become Purely Superficial

Friendships are constantly changing and evolving.

BFFs are meant to be your closest pals, but due to time and circumstance—like with any relationship—these dynamics can become surface-level. Going from discussing family drama and personal insecurities, to strictly giggling over annoying classmates and bad hair days can be a difficult adjustment.

Scroll down for some tips on what to do if your relationship with your BFF has become purely superficial.

Open Up to Them About Something

If the friendship between you and your BFF has morphed into something that's purely surface-level (meaning you still have a connection, but there's nothing particularly deep or meaningful about it), there are a few things you can do to re-establish and strengthen your bond. One tactic you can try is opening up to them about something that's going on in your life.

It can be anything from dealing with demanding parents, difficulty in school or developing a new crush. Sharing something with your bestie that not everyone else knows will make them feel like you have a real trust in them, and still value them as a listener who you can go to for guidance and advice. Most friends will be flattered by something like this, and more than happy to offer some pointers or just listen. Sharing an issue of your own might also help your friend open up to you about what's going on in their life, which will strengthen your bond even more.

Friends Talking With One Another
(via Unsplash)


Resurrect an Old Tradition

Another great way to reconnect with a BFF is to re-establish an old tradition the two of you shared. This can include anything from a weekly at-home spa or movie night, to Friday mall trips. You'll be surprised how easy it is to fall right back into old habits and rapport, even if you sense some distance between you two. Hopefully this brings up pleasant memories for both of you, and encourages you to continue working on and strengthening your friendship.


Try a New Activity Together

If you'd rather not go back and resurrect an old tradition (or are simply looking for something different to do), suggest you two try a new activity together. Suggest something neither of you are overly familiar with, so you're working with a relatively even playing field, and aim for something you can both actively participate in—as opposed to just watching a movie together. A new workout class is a solid option (especially if you can partner-up), as is trying indoor rock climbing together or signing up for a painting class. Look for something that lets you talk to one another while you're learning a new skill.

Friends in a Book Club Together
(via Unsplash)


Talk It Out

If you feel like your relationship with your bestie has morphed into a purely surface-level relationship, chances are they've felt the shift as well. If you feel comfortable enough, sit your BFF down and attempt to talk about the issue at hand. Start with something simple: "I feel like we haven't been connecting much lately, and I'd really like to change that," and then go from there. If your pal is a true friend, they'll be open to addressing the situation and working on your relationship. You can even suggest some of the things above as a way to get the ball rolling.


For more friendship advice, click HERE for a list of personal roadblocks that prevent a friendship from ever being truly healthy.