How to Become Less of a People Pleaser

If you're someone who considers yourself a people pleaser, you are far from alone.

Some of the signs of people-pleasing include everything from overthinking your actions in a social situation, convincing yourself that other people are mad at you regularly, wanting everyone you meet to like you (whether or not you actually like them) and generally putting other people's needs way before your own. Sound familiar? Join the club. But worry not, as you can indeed become less of a people pleaser with a little time and effort. Let's talk about four ways to become less of a people pleaser.

1. Be More Mindful

This tip could go for just about anything, but believe it or not, being mindful can help reduce your urges to people please. How? Because you're taking more time to actively stay present rather than worrying about the past (those social situations you find yourself over-analyzing when they're over) as well as the future (is your crush going to text you back, etc.). Stay present, enjoy the moment and try to forget about all of the rest. It may take some practice, but it's all worth it in the end.


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Also read about: Why Being More Mindful Should Be at the Top of Your 2022 Resolutions


2. Take Stock of Who You Surround Yourself With

Take a moment and think about the people you typically spend the most time with. Do those people make you feel good about yourself? Do they represent the type of person you admire? Do they support your goals and aspirations? If you couldn't exactly answer yes to those questions, or if you feel like those people spend way more time gossiping and being negative towards others than they do anything else, you may want to rethink why you even want to be around them in the first place. After all, if they speak so poorly about other people when you are around, there's a good chance you're left overthinking if they're talking that same way about you when you're not around.


3. Do What You Can to Become More Confident

While "confidence is key" is certainly a bit easier said than done, the importance of feeling confident truly cannot be overstated. After all, when you're confident in who you are as a person, there's no reason to spend time worrying about pleasing other people whose opinions don't matter much in the long run anyway. Feeling confident works a bit like an affirmation in that you can fake it 'til you make it. You can probably start by not saying "sorry" unless you truly need to be sorry for something! And just remember that the people who don't like you aren't worth your time anyway.


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Also read about: 4 Easy Ways to Become More Confident


4. Start Romanticizing Your Life

This year is all about embracing your main character life (or villain era, but either way you win in the end). When you're the main character, there's no need to overthink how others are thinking about you or how you can make them like you more—they're already going to like you! The key to embracing this energy is in romanticizing your life, and that starts with all the small moments that you normally wouldn't even think about. When you focus on positive things, you have way less time to worry about pleasing the people around you, anyway.


Need help embracing that main character energy? We've got you covered. Just click HERE to read about how to start feeling like the main character of your life.