How to Comfort a Friend Going Through a Breakup

Breakups are hard for everyone—even if you're just the friend of someone going through one.

Comforting someone close to you is not always easy, but it is necessary to be there for them during such a hard time—especially if they're the one on the receiving end of the breakup. To make it a little easier, here are some tips on how to comfort a friend in this situation:

1. Understand How They Like to Be Comforted

Not everyone likes to be comforted in the same way. Similar to how everyone has a different love language, everyone also needs a different type of attention during difficult times (including a breakup). For example, some people need a hug while others don't enjoy physical contact. Others need a shoulder to cry on, yet some would rather be distracted with humor or another mode of positivity. It may be difficult to figure out what your friend needs at first, but try to make an educated guess and change your response accordingly to how they react.

Shutterstock: Two young girls sitting on the stairs. One is cheering up her friend

(via Shutterstock)


2. Be Available

Breakups can hit in waves. Even if your friend seems fine at first, they may be triggered by something that gets them in their feelings soon after—meaning they'll need you to listen to them vent or act as a distraction. While you can't exactly put your own life on the shelf simply to comfort your friend during this time (nor should you feel like you need to), it is good to remind them that you're always there when they need you. Staying up a little bit later on a school night when they're texting you up a frenzy won't hurt you in the long run, but it might help them out in a big way.


3. Remind Them How Amazing They Are on Their Own

Plot twist: being single doesn't suck (we even have an entire post about it, click HERE to check it out)! Whether your friend was the dumper or the dumpee in the breakup, it's good to gently remind them how awesome they are with or without a romantic partner. No one should ever actually think that someone else "completes" them; after all, they were an entire person before they started dating their ex. If they're feeling really down about it all, just remind them that they have their whole life ahead of them and there's so much they can explore on their own, or even when they meet the right person later on.

Shutterstock: Portrait of a smiling african american young woman carrying her best friend on her back giving piggyback ride in park on a sunny day - friends laughing and having fun outdoors

(via Shutterstock)


4. Don't Be Harsh

While it can feel easy to resort to trash-talking their ex while your friend is going through a breakup, try to avoid jumping to any conclusions or speaking about the situation in a harsh manner. After all, people and relationships are both incredibly nuanced and you can never really know what's going on from the outside. Plus, if they end up getting back together down the line or stay friends, it wouldn't be good to have put yourself in a situation where you spoke cruelly about the other person.

Shutterstock: Good talk with friend. Two young beautiful women in casual wear smiling and talking while enjoying camping near the lake

(via Shutterstock)


All in all, knowing your friend and being there for them through it all is the best thing you can do while they're going through a breakup. Similarly, it's good to know how to talk to them simply when you notice problems within their relationship—whether these eventually lead to a breakup or not.

With that said, click HERE to read about how you can talk to your friends about problems in their relationships.