Torn Between Two People Who Want to Date You? Here's How to Deal

Can you really be in love (or like) with two different people at the same time?

It's the age-old question that never gets easier to answer. Even if it is indeed possible, what are you supposed to do with that feedback?

If you've found yourself torn between two potential significant others, then you've got your emotional work cut out for you. Continue reading to find out how to deal with this messy situation:

In high school, I had a few tiny flings followed by a serious relationship that spanned years. It wasn't uncommon for a crush to inch their way into my heart every once in a while, but it wasn't until senior year that I felt truly and completely torn between my long-term S.O and a new person of interest.

I was painfully aware of the difficult aspects of my serious relationship, but our history was also full of love and happiness. The new person, on the other hand, was a complete mystery which presented a much needed level of excitement.

These are the steps I took in figuring out what exactly the heart wants.

Step 1: Write Out Pros and Cons

There's nothing wrong with getting scientific with your heartache. Write out a list of pros and a list of cons for each of your potential S.O.s Hopefully your list will tell you everything you need to know by eliminating the individual with the heftier cons.

But this will likely just be a starting point for identifying the things you like and dislike about your crushes. One thing's for sure, if the pros tend to be solely about physical appearance, your inner radar should flag that as a warning sign.

Riley and Lucas date

(Girl Meets World via The Disney Channel)


Step 2: Weigh Internal Feelings vs. External Pressures

You need to make your decision based on your own internal feelings. Do you even really like one of these potential suitors, or do you feel obligated to their affection because of external pressures, such as friends or a long-standing history?

You are the only person who should have a say in your relationship. The quicker you defeat external pressures, the sooner you'll enjoy blissful romance.

Vampire Diaries love triangle

(The Vampire Diaries via Warner Bros. Television)


Step 3: Listen to Your Butterflies

Who are you more excited to hang out with? Who are you more upset with when they bail on plans? Who is your go-to person to text after something important has happened? The butterflies in your stomach are trying to tell you exactly what your heart isn't quite ready to hear. Listen to your feelings of giddiness, excitement and anticipation while also acknowledging your emotions of dread, apathy or disappointment.


Step 4: Consider Who Brings Out Your Good Side

Different people affect the way we behave and interact. That's why the old adage, "you are who you hang out with," still carries weight today.

If you know that one of these guys makes you a better you, then they are probably the right choice. Who do you always feel positive with when you're hanging out? Who are you with when you're being your best self? If you find your behavior altering for the worse, then the charming bad boy probably isn't going to do you any favors.

Callie torn between AJ and Aaron

(The Fosters via Freeform)


Step 5: Be Real With Yourself

Chances are, you already know your answer. You've buried it deep inside, because, for whatever reason, you don't want your favored choice to be "the one." Maybe you're scared to break up with your current S.O. or maybe the new crush used to date your BFF. Whatever your reluctance is, face it head-on because your feelings aren't likely to just disappear.

Serena torn between Dan and Chuck

(Gossip Girl via Warner Bros. Television)


Still not sure how to read the right guy? Click HERE for the signs that your first date is going well, and then click HERE for the signs of a bad first date.