How to Deal With a Friend Who Talks Too Much
Talkative friends can be a lot to handle.
If you have a pal who just doesn't know when to keep quiet and give others a chance to pipe in, it can take a lot out of you and might even have a negative impact on your friendship.
Scroll down for some helpful tips about how to deal with an overly talkative friend.
If your friend talks too much and you can no longer stand it, it's only fair that you (kindly) let them know their chatterbox tendencies are getting on your last nerve. If your pal isn't aware that their behavior is driving you up a wall, that doesn't give them an opportunity to change, meaning they'll keep talking incessantly, and you'll continue to be annoyed. That said, you shouldn't just walk up to your pal and tell them to shut up, either. Approach the subject carefully in a one-on-one conversation and avoid saying anything that's overly critical.
Set Some Boundaries
Once your pal is aware their constant chatter bothers you, go ahead and set some boundaries. In other words, let your friend know when it's fine for them to talk to their heart's content (like during a free period or lunch) and let them know when you'd prefer some peace and quiet, such as during assembly or when you're in the library studying for a test. Not only will this help teach your friend to gradually talk less, but it will also give you a certain amount of power in the relationship, which can be hard to come by when you feel like a pal won't let you get a word in edgewise.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Interject in the Conversation When You Can
Even when your pal is going off on one of their talkathons, it's totally fine for you to interject in the conversation when you can. In fact, you should be jumping in whenever you feel like you have something to say. This is an organic and subtle way to let your friend know that maybe they've been yammering on for a tad too long, and it also gives you a bit more control than someone who's just sitting there and passively listening. Furthermore, when you do speak up, feel free to use it as an opportunity to talk about something that might be more pertinent to you, if you feel like there's something you need to get off your chest. Hopefully your pal will take the hint and pivot from speaker to listener.
Don't Be Overly Critical
Your friend's endless talking may bother you, and rightfully so, but in addressing it, you need to make sure you aren't overly critical of their behavior. If you are, that's basically an invitation for your pal to get defensive, and nothing will be resolved once that happens. Instead of approaching the situation in an accusatory way, try framing it in a manner that lets your friend know how their constant talking impacts you. Even a statement such as "When you talk a lot, I don't feel like I'm being heard and that hurts my feelings" will help your friend see that their actions have consequences, and hopefully push them to make a necessary change to their own behavior.
(Glee via FOX)
Change How You Spend Time Together
If you've tried all of the above and your friend simply hasn't changed their talkative behavior, it might be time to change how you spend time together. That doesn't mean you should drop your buddy like a hot potato and stop speaking to them all together, but it does mean you should be aware this is a behavior your pal exhibits and adjust yourself accordingly. If you can't take your pal's constant talking, try spending time with them in small doses instead of in concentrated periods of time. Not only will this give you a break you desperately need, but it will help teach you to appreciate the time you do spend with this chatty friend.
For more friend advice, click HERE for five hard lessons learned from being a clingy friend.