How to Deal When Your S.O. Is a Total Homebody

When you're outgoing and social but your significant other is a total homebody, it can feel like the two of you are never on the same page.

You want to spend your free time out with friends, but they prefer quiet hangouts at home, instead. If that sounds like you, keep reading to find out how to make the most of dating a homebody.

Try to Understand Them

What exactly is a homebody? Like the name suggests, it's a person who prefers the comforts of home over going out. It's not that a homebody is antisocial or dislikes people, but they value the chance to rest and do things on their own time over whatever social pressures are being thrust upon them. The only FOMO they have is the fear of missing out on some peace and quiet at home if they do decide to go out. Once you understand that about a homebody, it becomes a little easier to get where they're coming from.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Inside with penny, chip and used napkin

(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)


Schedule Your Outings

Just because your S.O. is a homebody doesn't mean they should get a free pass that says they're exempt from going out with you. Any relationship is about compromises, so it's all about finding a balance between staying at home and heading to a party with your friends.

One of the best ways to enforce fairness is with a calendar. Work together toward an agreed number of nights for social activities together per week, and then plan those social nights out ahead as far as possible. Homebodies don't like sudden changes of plan, and any lead time prevents that. While you shouldn't expect them to go out with you all the time, hold them accountable to the agreement—and keep up with your end, too.


Perfect the At-Home Date

Having a partner that doesn't like to go out sounds like it'd be a total buzzkill—especially if you're a social butterfly—but it doesn't have to be. Ordering takeout from your favorite place can be even better than going out when you're surrounded by all of the luxuries of a home, or you can even work together to prep a delicious homemade meal. Maybe you can watch classic movies together, or binge-watch a show you've always wanted to see. You might even have a board game night or a listening party of a band you both love.

The point is that you don't have to go out to have fun, no matter what your tastes are. You may even find that your S.O. doesn't mind having people over as long as they don't have to leave the house, meaning you can bring the party to them.

The Set Up: Harper and Charlie eating pizza

(The Set Up via Netflix)


Have Your Own Social Life

If you and your significant other have vastly different needs in terms of social interactions, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed to fail, or even that it'll be a lot of hard work to get on the same page. If you have to go out to be happy and they have to stay home, remember that you don't have to do absolutely everything together. In fact, you shouldn't.

It's healthy to maintain some independence, even when you're in a committed relationship with someone. While you shouldn't spend every day apart from each other, if you can nurture your social needs while they take care of their need to stay home, it can have positive effects on both of your lives. You may even find that time apart makes you value your time together more than ever, bringing you even closer than before.


Reap the Rewards

Having a homebody for an S.O. can have its own weird little benefits, too. For one, homebodies truly know how to make use of their free time, and they can impart a few words of wisdom to you regarding rest and relaxation. Plus, they'll always understand you when you're not feeling up to going out with your friends. Not only will they sympathize, but they'll be more than happy to be your excuse to get out of your obligation. After all, if your friends know who you're dating, they'll already have a sense that your S.O. wasn't going to show in the first place.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before: Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean watching movie on couch with Kitty

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)


Constantly getting unsolicited opinions on your relationship? Click HERE for all the reasons you should stop following your friends' relationship advice.