How to Know If Your Friend Is Avoiding You or Just Busy

We all know the painful feeling of being ignored.

Whether willfully or unintentionally, it's always annoying when you don't hear back from your friends. But how do you know if they're purposefully trying to get away from you, or if they're temporarily occupied with other responsibilities?

Though it's not foolproof, we might have a few tips that'll help you determine whether your friend is avoiding you, or if they're just busy.

If They're Avoiding You…

1. You consistently don't hear from them. You may have been trying to get in contact with them for days or even weeks with no reply. No one is too busy to respond to every message you send, so if continually ignored, they're probably avoiding you.


(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)

2. You're always the one reaching out. You can't remember the last time they asked to hang out, much less text you first. If that's the case, they're sending you a pretty clear signal that they haven't missed your company.

3. They're active on social media. If someone won't respond to your messages, but happily posts all over the web, then they're avoiding you. Simple as that.

4. But they're not active with you on social media. If someone wants to avoid you, they're going to cut off all contact. If you notice that your friend suddenly doesn't like your pics, comment on your posts or respond to your meme tags, they're definitely trying to distance themselves from your friendship.

Sierra Burgess Is a Loser: Sierra looking concerned staring at her phone

(Sierra Burgess Is a Loser via Netflix)

5. They always have an excuse. Every time you want to meet up, they just so happen to have another thing planned, or they simply tell you that they can't make it that night. It's especially telling if they don't offer an alternative option that would allow the two of you to meet up—which indicates that they really don't care to see you.

6. They play dumb. When you ask why you haven't heard from them in a while, they act like they have no idea what you're talking about. It's their way of turning things around and avoiding the discussion, indicating that they probably don't have a desire to see you.


If They're Busy…

1.You experience a sudden stop in their communication. You were chatting pretty consistently, but they abruptly stopped responding to your messages. It's usually a sign that something came up, and that their lack of contact has nothing to do with you at all.

Elle and Lee From The Kissing Booth

(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)

2. They still reach out. You might not hear from them all the time and it might be tough to pin them down, but they still make an effort to reach out and chat with you, even if they stop responding midway through the conversation.

3. You know they're a bad texter. While it's easy to jump to the conclusion that everything is your fault, you also have to think about the friend. If they're a known bad texter, they're probably just busy with something, which naturally pushes their texting skills from substandard to completely appalling. 

4. They always respond… eventually. Even if it takes an entire 24 hours, a busy friend will always make time to respond to your message. Someone who's avoiding you will simply ignore the message, so even delayed responses are a good sign that your pal just has something else going on.

5. They own up to it. If someone is busy, they have no problem owning up to their lack of reply. They know they're not being shady, so it's easy to tell you that things have been crazy and that they'll be back to their normal selves as soon everything calms down.


(Riverdale via The CW)

6. They still make time for you. Even if your friend is super busy, no one is ever busy enough to ignore you for weeks on end. A committed friend should still make time for you, no matter how sporadic it may be. If they do that, you can believe that they're being truthful about their busy schedule.


Looking for more advice on dealing with your friends? Click HERE for our tips on how to know if someone is a true friend.