How to Overcome Trust Issues After You've Been Cheated On
Some find it easy to trust others, while others find it nearly impossible.
Of course, these standards change over time and are likely affected by life events, such as a best friend lying or an S.O. cheating.
Being a Scorpio, there's always been a side of me that likes to keep things private. Though when it comes to relationships, my passionate side has always been ready to love, and trust, deeply.
That said, my zodiac was no match for a chronic cheating boyfriend, which caused a variety of trust issues.
Continue reading for tips on how to overcome these emotional issues as told by someone who eventually got through them.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
If a cheating S.O. from your past has you feeling like you'll never trust anyone again, tell your current partner or crush about these problems. Bottling them up out of sadness or shame will only feed the beast. Acknowledging those hidden emotional scars will take a great weight off of you and set the foundation for why you act so weird sometimes. Communication is seriously the key to everything.
Practice Self-Love and Care
The oxygen fueling your trust issue fire is your lack of self-confidence. After being cheated on, you can't help but feel like it was your fault (which it wasn't). But because we feel this way, our self-esteem takes a major hit. Practice self-love and care to regain your own sense of inner importance. Once you find love for yourself, you'll be able to believe that others can love you just as much as you love you.
(Marie Antoinette via Colombia Pictures)
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
You don't have to hurl yourself into a new serious relationship immediately. Sure, the idea of "getting back on the horse" is helpful when confronting a fear, but, if you move too quickly, you'll just find yourself overwhelmed. Start slowly and ease yourself into the mechanics of a relationship. By building the relationship gradually, you'll feel comfortable each step of the way and you'll find it much easier to trust that person organically rather than faking it till you make it.
Know Your Boundaries
If you want to trust your new S.O. but just can't yet, start slowly by setting boundaries. There's nothing wrong with requesting a few relationship guidelines to keep you both happy. Without going overboard, draw lines that will challenge these issues while keeping you calm. For example, obvi your S.O. should be able to freely chat up his friends who are girls, but suggesting that he or she refrain from texting their ex for now is a great place to begin. Before you know it you'll be so trusting that these old flings won't worry you.
Judge Your Jealousy
We always like it when our S.O. is a little jealous, because that emotion means that they care deeply about us. But there's definitely a line… and you don't want to cross it. Too much jealousy means that you don't actually trust the other person. Whenever you feel your jealousy meter rise to maximum, take stock of which person or situation set it off. Refer back to tip No. 1 and talk it out.
(The Fosters via Freeform)
Refrain From Snooping
There's no reason you should ever begin to snoop through your partner's personal belongings. Whether you're curious about their texts, their notebook doodles or their diary, keep your nose out of these places. You're just going to drive yourself crazy and this scheme will eventually blow up in your face. Choose trust. It isn't easy, but each time you choose to trust rather than assume the worst, you chip away a tiny bit of the wall you've built around yourself.
Give It Time
Girl, this is just going to take time. Even if you find yourself with the sweetest, most romantic, clingy and caring partner, you're still likely to carry these trust issues with you. It might not be logical, but heck, nothing is logical in the game of love. Be patient and let yourself feel what you need to feel. After some time (and after following the above advice) you'll find yourself more open than you ever thought you could be again.
(The Fosters via Freeform)
Trust issues are serious business and require care and attention. For seven other things you should never feel bad about in a relationship, click HERE.