How to Reject Someone Nicely

A new school year means a fresh start to your love life, and by now, you're probably smitten with that cutie in chemistry, or that mysterious student who you keep bumping into in the hallway.

And just like you've made your first semester crush selection, someone else now has their eyes on… you. The only problem? You're totally not into them in that way. And while you're fine having a few admirers, what happens if this certain someone decides to actually makes a move? Here's how to reject someone the nice way (and not like Cher from Clueless).


Tell the truth

Telling the truth can be a whole lot easier than it sounds. It's tempting to make up a reason as to why you can't go out with them. But in hindsight, the worst thing you can do is make up a bunch of lies or excuses because it will ultimately make them feel worse. The best thing to do both is rip off the Band-Aid and tell them (nicely) that you just don't share their feelings.

 

Do It in person

Now this one isn't always possible, but if you can, it's always best to reject someone in person. With cell phones and social media, chances are it's more likely you'll be asked out over text or via a Snap. If that happens, try and snag some time with them at school the next day to talk about it in person so they don't take things the wrong way.

 

Get to the Point

Remember, this isn't a class presentation. Get straight to the point and keep the conversation moving because they're most likely going to be bummed out and not want to linger around.

 

Be Honest, but Be Kind

There's a fine line between being honest and being mean. You don't have to go into the nitty gritty deets as to why you don't think you're a match made in heaven, just give them the CliffsNotes version that you wouldn't mind even your parents overhearing.

 

Keep It Private

As tempting as it is to blast the news to all your friends, the nicest thing you can do is keep things private. Your admirer built up the courage to ask you out, so have some respect for their bravery and don't embarrass them. People talk and rumors fly, so keeping this between yourself and your close friends and family is the safest bet. Just think how awful you would feel if the whole school knew you got turned down. It wouldn't feel good, would it?

 

Don't Give False Hope

Telling someone you're not into them isn't easy, but don't be overly nice and complimentary either. Saying things like, "I just don't want to date anyone right now," or "It's not you, it's me," doesn't fully close the chapter on this person who is crushing. The most thoughtful thing you can do is allow them to move on so they can find someone who wants to be with them, too.

 

Don't End the Conversation on a Sour Note

Sometimes this one is out of your control, but try to end things on a positive note. Everyone has an ego, and you're definitely going to be bruising theirs, so things might take a turn for the worst. Just try and stay sweet and positive so there are no hard feelings.

 

And while we're tackling the hard stuff, HERE'S how to deal with seeing your ex everyday.