How to Instantly Improve Your Relationship With Yourself

If asked to list all the people you love, you'd probably jot down your friends, family members, S.O., pets, etc.

Chances are, you'd forget to name one very important individual—yourself.

Your relationship with yourself is just as (if not, more) important as your relationships with the most important people in your life. But we often forget this, putting the needs of everyone we love above our own desires.

It's time to reclaim that energy and love you give to everyone else to focus on improving your relationship with yourself. Scroll below for our tips on how to do just that!

1. Do More of What Makes You Happy

Make a list of things you do every day. Then, make a list of things that make you happy. Look them both over and see what you can take out to make more room for what you enjoy doing. We know this is easier said than done, and you don't always have control over your daily tasks. Things like school, part-time jobs, sports, clubs and so on can make it difficult to prioritize time for more fun activities. But doing one thing that brings you joy for at least five minutes a day is better than doing nothing at all.

The important thing here is to not think of this as another to-do list item. This is for you and you only. Whether you find happiness in going on a hike while listening to your fave album or watching an episode of your latest Netflix binge while rocking a face mask, make sure to do it. Your overall happiness is far superior to anything else.

 

2. Reflect on Your Needs

What do you want? It's a question we often ask others, but very rarely do we ever quiz ourselves on our own desires. This is mainly because we've been brought up to believe that thinking about ourselves too often is selfish and narcissistic. That definitely isn't the case. You're the one person you can count on to be with you through this crazy ride called life, so why hide your needs in order to help everyone else? No, you shouldn't stop being there for your besties and your fam, but you shouldn't feel guilty for putting your desires ahead of theirs on occasion.

Veronica looking upset at Archie while he talks off camera on Riverdale

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

3. Don't Live Your Life Through Social Media

Social media is fake, so don't believe everything you see. Most people use it to impress the world, which is why you only see the most amazing, spectacular, stunning, gorgeous, awe-inspiring moments of one's life. What you don't see are the billions of pictures they took to get that perfect shot or how boring their day-to-day life really is. You shouldn't compare your life through the glimpses of other people's lives you see on your phone. Say it with us: It's not reality, so don't allow yourself to buy any of it.

On the flip side, don't try and fabricate this perfect life to make your followers jealous. It's only going to make you more miserable, trust us. You'll find yourself starting to question your every move, wondering if attending this party will serve as the ideal backdrop for an Instagram photo shoot or if going to that get-together will make you look all sorts of exclusive on Snapchat. That's not a healthy way to go about life. Don't stress over what your followers need to see. Instead, supply them with the content that makes you happy. Being genuine goes a long way, both on and offline.

 

4. Know When to Take a Break

Being human, we're not perfect. Sometimes we tend to bite off more than we can chew. We sign up for this and that; volunteer here and there; take on an extra shift this day and that day. We work ourselves thin, because we're all so convinced that if we keep grinding away, we'll achieve what we set out to do. That may be the case, but at what cost? Yes, it's important to have a strong work ethic, and those who do tend to pride themselves on being accomplished, but even the most powerful individuals know when it's time to take a break.

You can only exert yourself so much, so don't feel bad in the slightest when you can't make do on all your commitments. Recognize when your plate is too full and take some things off it. Your well-being is way more important than fulfilling your duties as ASB president or captain of your school's soccer team.

Candace and Stacy relaxing in a hot tub on Phineas and Ferb

(Phineas and Ferb via Disney Channel)

 

5. Recognize When You're Being Too Hard on Yourself

It's human nature to get down on oneself after making a mistake. But why? As stated before, we're only human. We're bound to make many errors on our life journey, so let's stop being so hard on ourselves.

Whenever you mess something up and notice how critical you are of what happened, call yourself out. Breathe, take a moment to reflect and then apologize to yourself for being so rude. We know this sounds a bit strange, but we promise it'll help. You'll feel so much better once you learn to let these things go and move on. No mistake is worth dwelling on for too long, so don't beat yourself up about it. Just remember not to make the same mistake twice.

 

6. Spend More Time With People Who Appreciate You and Less Time With Those Who Don't

We're social creatures. Even the most introverted introverts need to spend at least a few minutes out of their day with the people they love. No one can bare to be alone for all of eternity. It is, however, easy to get tired of being sociable when you surround yourself with people who aren't a positive influence or don't appreciate all that you have to offer. We all have plenty of those types of people in our lives and we could even name them right now. So if they're causing you to want to hibernate for four days before you hang out with them ever again, stop spending time with them. It really is that simple. Let them know all the ways they've done you wrong or brought you down. If they're willing to fix that, great. If not, bye.

The friend group in Love, Simon cheering on their buddy who's playing in a soccer game

(Love, Simon via 20th Century Fox)

 

7. Reward Yourself for Positive Habits

Any time you notice yourself being kinder to yourself or asking yourself about your needs, be sure to reward yourself for those positive habits the same way you'd reprimand yourself for negative ones. When you notice a favorable shift in your feelings about yourself and even the world, don't hesitate to treat yourself. How you choose to do that is up to you. It may be something small or you could go big. Simply being aware of how your outlook has changed for the better will only boost your self-love. And what more could you ask for?

 

Need a few more tips on how to be kinder and gentler to yourself? HERE are nine easy ways to be nicer to yourself every day.