How to Know When You and Your S.O. Are Fighting Too Much

Fighting in a relationship can be difficult to navigate.

While fighting with your S.O. is normal, and even healthy, it can be hard to know exactly how much fighting is too much fighting.

Aria and Ezra on a Bench

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)

Every relationship is different, meaning that each romance will have a different number of disagreements. It's actually more important to ask how you and your S.O. fight than how often you engage in an argument. The frequency of your fights is much less important than the way you handle these altercations.

Keep scrolling to see how you can know if you and your S.O. are fighting too much.

You're Having the Same Fight Over and Over

Disagreements are bound to happen in a relationship, but talking through your struggles and finding a solution together is an important part of effective arguments. If you find that you and your S.O. are having the same fight over and over again, it could be a sign of trouble. Not only does it indicate that there is an aspect of your relationship that is regularly incompatible, it also shows that you're not working together to find a solution. Having the same fight gets you nowhere, and it's a pretty clear indicator that something is off in your romance.

Jughead Talking to Betty

(Riverdale via The CW)


Your Arguments Usually Devolve Into a Screaming Match

Fighting can have a very bad connotation. For many, it can bring up images of people angrily yelling at each other, slamming doors and calling names, or even ignoring the other person altogether. However, fights don't have to (and really shouldn't) be quite that dramatic. Not only do these tactics get you nowhere, it also shows that you're incapable of effectively working through an issue with your partner. If your fights with your S.O. often devolve into a screaming match, it's a pretty clear sign that your arguing has gotten out of hand.


You Keep Arguing Over Petty Issues

Sometimes when you've been in a relationship long enough, you may find that you and your S.O. suddenly argue about the most unimportant issues. The fact that they didn't put a smiley face in their text or that they didn't say you looked pretty today can unexpectedly become the subject of all your quarrels. This kind of fighting over petty and unimportant issues often indicates that there is something deeper going on in your relationship. You might feel unappreciated or you both might simply be unhappy with the state of your romance. Whatever the real reason might be, fighting over petty issues is a pretty good indicator that all is not right with your relationship.

Chuck and Blair Glaring

(Gossip Girl via The CW)


You Live in Fear of Starting a Fight

One pretty obvious sign that you and your S.O. are fighting too much is a constant anxiety about starting a fight. The ability to be open and honest is so important in a relationship, so if you feel that you're always monitoring what you're saying so that you won't make your S.O. angry, you won't be able to fully be yourself. Not only is it a sign that your relationship is very volatile, but it also indicates that there has been a pattern of arguing that has made you afraid of disagreeing with your partner. As counterintuitive as it might sound, a lack of fear about starting a fight is often a good sign that you and your S.O. don't fight too much.


You Can't Even Remember What You're Arguing About

One clear indicator that you and your S.O. are fighting too much is that you can't even remember what you're arguing about. Fighting in a relationship should always have a point, and you shouldn't disagree with your partner just for the sake of disagreeing. If you find yourself in the middle of a quarrel and you suddenly can't remember why you're so mad, you might need to reevaluate your relationship. Much like arguing over petty issues, this type of fighting is usually a sign that there is something deeper going on under the surface. Instead of dealing with those issues, you and your S.O. have resorted to arguing over nothing, which is never a healthy way to handle your problems.


Even if you and your S.O. fight all the time, there are good and bad ways to disagree. Click HERE to see things you should never do when fighting with your S.O.