7 Life Lessons You Can Only Learn By Experiencing Heartbreak

Heartbreak isn't something anyone ever wants to go through.

Letting go of someone you truly love is one of the most difficult things to do. But, as uncomfortable and painful as it is, heartbreak is also incredibly useful. In fact, there are certain things you can only understand after you've gone through a difficult breakup.

So how can this painful experience have a positive impact on your life? Keep scrolling for seven life lessons you can only learn by experiencing heartbreak.

1. Love Isn't Everything

At the end of the day, most humans are on the hunt for love. The majority of us want to find a partner to share our lives with, which is a totally normal and respectable desire. However, it's only when you experience a heartbreak that you realize that love isn't everything. Only after you've had a loving relationship and lost it can you truly grasp the idea that love isn't the magic answer to all the problems in your life. In fact, sometimes letting love go is the healthier option. A loving relationship should enhance your life, but it's far from the most important aspect of it.

Girl Crying while holding a coffee cup

(via Unsplash)


2. Love Isn't Enough

Beyond the fact that love isn't the only thing that matters in the world, it's also just not enough on its own. You can love someone with your whole heart, but if you don't have the same goals, don't share the same values or can't communicate effectively, your relationship is never going to work. It's a tough lesson, and it really only hits home after you've gone through a tough breakup.

Those are the moments when you realize that all the love in the world isn't enough to smooth over some very real relationship problems. It's hard to accept, but it's important to know that you can't rely on love alone if you want to have healthy relationships in the future.


3. Everything Happens for a Reason

It's the granddaddy of cliché phrases, but this saying isn't ever more applicable than after you've experienced a heartbreak. As much as you don't want to hear it, there's always a purpose behind your breakup, and that purpose will always reveal itself. It may take weeks, months or even years before you fully understand, but heartbreak will eventually allow you to believe that everything does happen for a reason.

Even if you can't recognize it in the moment, there was something about that person or relationship that wasn't right for you. Allow yourself to be upset, but also remember that with time the reason behind your breakup will reveal itself.

Betty and Jughead

(Riverdale via The CW)


4. You Can't Judge Someone Else's Pain

Romantic relationships and breakups are both intensely private experiences. You've probably witnessed someone close to you go through a breakup in the past and wondered why they were being so sensitive or dramatic about it. It's not until you experience your own heartbreak that you can truly grasp the pain and misery associated with it. It's awful, but it also makes you more empathetic and understanding about the idea that you can't judge someone else's pain.


5. Self-Sufficiency Is Key

The only person you can consistently count on in life is yourself. It sounds jaded and pessimistic, but it's the truth—and heartbreak brings that fact right into the spotlight. When you have a romantic partner, you learn to count on them and rely on them to help you through things in your life. When you experience heartbreak, that support system is suddenly taken away, which is why recovering from a breakup is so difficult. However, going through that painful separation will also reveal how important it is to be self-sufficient.

You can't rely on your partner to pick up the slack when you can't take care of yourself. Not only does that put unneeded pressure on your relationship, it also keeps you from growing as a person and following your own goals. It's not that you shouldn't use your partner for support, it's simply a matter of learning that you have to maintain your own independence, even when you're in a romantic relationship.

Betty Crying

(Riverdale via The CW)


6. You Have to Accept Responsibility for Your Actions

No matter how it happens, the end of a relationship is almost never one-sided. One partner may have stepped too far out of bounds or done something that couldn't be forgiven, but that doesn't mean you're totally innocent in the decline of your relationship. In the aftermath of a breakup, you'll start to take a good, long look at your relationship, and you'll likely realize many areas where you made mistakes.

Heartbreak forces you to take a look in the mirror and address some truths about yourself that might be hard to swallow. It teaches you to accept responsibility for your actions in a way that no other life experience really can. It's hard and frustrating, but it allows you to take an introspective look at yourself and make changes that will improve things in the future.


7. It's Not the End of the World

A broken heart sounds like a scary thing. And honestly? It is. It's painful and difficult to get over, but it's not until you experience the heartbreak that you can understand that it's a manageable misery. It's not something you would wish on anyone, but it's also something everyone can get through. You'll feel hurt, you'll be sad and you'll swear you'll never love anyone again, but eventually the pain will subside and you'll find yourself ready and open to an even greater love in the future. Heartbreak isn't fun, but it's also not the end of the world.


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