Single, But Struggling to Mingle? The Love Doctor Reveals Secrets to Becoming More Approachable
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, Sweety High chatted exclusively with Michigan-based Terri Orbuch—better known as The Love Doctor—for a four-part series about love and relationships, running every Tuesday during February. This week concludes her contributions this month, but you can expect to hear more from her here in the future!
For her fourth installment of this love and relationship series, Terri gets down to the bottom of how to become that girl who captures the attention of anyone when she walks into a room.
We know chatting with your crush or flirting with a potential new love interest can be nerve wracking and uncomfortable, but it doesn't have to be that way. Below, allow Terri to guide you through carrying yourself confidently and giving off the right energy.
1. Give Off Inviting Body Language
When you walk into a room, tapping aggressively on your phone while essentially hiding behind your bestie, what kind of message do you think this conveys?
"Your body language needs to say, 'I like myself,' " Terri says, first and foremost. "So you're standing tall, you're looking at people in the eyes, your arms aren't crossed in front of your body, they're down by your side, you're smiling, your eyes are bright and they look like they're positive and you're happy."
But more than just letting people know you're confident, these actions will also "give off the vibe that you're approachable," Terri says. "You might spend just a few extra seconds looking at somebody—not in a creepy way, right—just a few extra seconds, but smile at somebody aND touch your hair and walk confidently."
2. Make Slight Compliments Here and There
"People who give out compliments or do small acts of kindness or say appreciation phrases, are much more likely to be approached," Terri explains. "So somebody who says 'thank you' or, 'Wow, I like your shirt,' or 'Where'd you buy your shoes?' or 'Your haircut looks great'—those people are giving what I call appreciation statements."
If you're too shy to initiate convo, there are ways to make the same impact without speaking.
"You can do small acts of kindness, too, like help somebody at their locker, or if you know somebody is rushing to class, you can get out of their way," Terri says. "There are so many different acts of kindness. Those are people who get approached."
You may not necessarily know it, but nine times out of 10, the person whose attention you want to grab desires to be noticed, too.
"We all need to feel special, like that we're not being taken for granted or we're not seen," Terri says. "So when people do these acts of kindness, we're attracted to them, we really are. We feel like it feeds our souls in a way and so we approach these people."
3. Don't Overlook Traditional Methods of Attracting Someone
This one may be a no-brainer, but Terri emphasizes on keeping things light with laughter.
"People are drawn to some kind of sense of humor and it's not self-deprecating—it's not putting themselves down or you down," she says. "Being funny is really attractive."
In addition, looking your best certainly won't hurt your chances of attracting someone!
"Appearance is important," Terri says. "As much as women and girls may say it's not, it is."
Because dating and flirting can be so awkward, sometimes it's best to just leave it alone altogether. Read about why Brittney's glad she never had a boyfriend in high school HERE!