How to Make Up With Your Sibling After a Fight
If you have a sibling, you're absolutely going to fight.
It's just a fact of life. No matter how close you might be with your family, you and your siblings can't get along all the time.
Thankfully, it doesn't really matter if you fight. Arguments will happen, but they don't have to ruin your relationships. What does matter is whether you can effectively make-up with your sibling after what goes down.
If you're struggling to get past a quarrel, keep scrolling for our tips on how to make up with your sibling after a fight.
Take Time to Calm Down
Oftentimes, arguments among siblings are pretty heated. No matter what started the battle, you both feel pretty strongly about your opinion. When you're all wound up and upset, there's no possibility of moving forward effectively. Instead, you need to give yourself a little time to calm down. Depending on how intense the argument is, you could need anywhere from a few minutes to a few days to allow your anger to fully wear off. Once you're past those intense feelings, you'll be much better equipped to smooth things over with your sibling.
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Let Them Express Themselves
After you've calmed down, you can then approach your sibling and try to talk through what went wrong. Instead of launching into what upset you, however, start by allowing your sibling to express themselves. Ask them why they were so upset and give them time and space to explain. You don't have to agree with everything they say, but allowing your sibling to vent their opinion will be crucial in moving forward.
After your sibling expresses why they were so upset, take a moment to apologize. Listen to what you did that made them feel bad and express genuine regret for your part in the conflict. The apology might not fix everything, but it's a chance to show your sibling that you listened to them and that you want to change your hurtful behavior in the future.
Explain Yourself Calmly
After your sibling expresses why they were so upset, it's your turn to get things off your chest. This isn't a chance to scream at your sibling again or tell them everything they did wrong. Instead, try to focus on yourself and what made you so angry in the situation. Your sibling may respond with understanding or they may get angry again. No matter their reaction, remember to stay calm. You're not trying to rehash the fight. Instead, you're trying to find a way to move forward.
Agree to Disagree
Sometimes, even after you talk things out, you and your sibling might not be on the same page. Instead of fighting to be right, ask yourself if this fight is really worth all this effort. Nine times out of 10, the answer will be no. If you and your sibling can't see eye to eye, it's okay to agree to disagree. Just like you can't choose your family, you can't force them to see your point of view. It's better to live in harmony, especially if what you're fighting about isn't that big of a deal in the long run.
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Do Something Nice
Depending on your family dynamic, making up with a sibling might be hard and awkward. If you find that you can't just talk things through, you can try to mend fences by doing something nice for your sibling. Buy them their favorite treat and offer it to them as an olive branch. Clean their room as an act of contrition. Coordinate with your parents to prepare their favorite meal for dinner. Whatever it may be, try to do something nice for your sibling. If they're receptive to your action, that might be all you need to fix things and move forward.
Give Them Time
No matter how hard you try, your sibling might not be ready to forgive you and move forward. Remember that they're on their own timeline and that they might still need some time to cool down. If that's the case, give them their space. A genuine apology and an expression of compassion are the most you can do, but you can't force them to forgive you. If you allow them time to mull it over, they'll probably come around eventually.
Let It Go
No matter what the fight was about or how it played out, there comes a point when you simply have to let it go. You may not feel like you got an adequate apology from your sibling or that they truly understand why you were so upset. In those cases, it's easy to cling to your anger and refuse to move forward until they make amends. Unfortunately, that attitude will only harm you in the long run. You can try to explain yourself to your sibling, but you also have to choose to let it all go and move forward eventually, for your own peace and well-being.
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Fighting with your sibling sometimes feels overwhelming. While it's perfectly normal to argue with your family, being at odds with someone in your house isn't the most comfortable feeling. If things aren't getting fixed right away, don't panic. In most situations, your sibling has to forgive you eventually. After all, they're pretty much stuck with you. Panicking will only make the situation worse. Your sibling will feel pressured to move on, whether they're ready or not. No matter what's happening, stay calm and remind yourself that you're doing everything you can to fix things. Beyond that, there's not much else you can do.
Looking for more advice on dealing with your sibling? Click HERE for six activities you can do with your sibling that are sure to avoid fights.