9 Ways to Deal With Your Micromanaging Parents

Sometimes, moms and dads can overstep the bounds of a loving parent into complete micromanagement.

Their desire to see you succeed can prevent you from actually learning how to do anything yourself—and make them totally unbearable. If this sounds like your mom and dad, keep scrolling for nine ways to deal with your micromanaging parents.

Demonstrate Your Autonomy

Getting your parents to stop micromanaging you starts with proving that you're your own person and can do things on your own. You're lucky if you get along with your parents well enough to consider them your friends, but if you don't have many friends besides them, something is amiss. Branch out and meet new people, and then spend time with them away from home to show your parents you have your own life to live.

 

Make Good Choices on Your Own

You don't have to consult your parents with every little decision you make in life. Feel free to step out of your comfort zone and make a choice without their feedback if it doesn't concern them. They may get upset that you didn't bring them into the process, but this will demonstrate that you don't need their input for every little thing you do.

Eventually, you'll make a mistake or two—but failure is the ultimate learning experience. Take this opportunity to really soak in the fact that one misstep isn't the end of the world. If your parents don't let you try, then you'll never learn. This is a process of learning and growing, and you can bounce back from anything.

 

Assert Your Independence

Micromanaging parents will often butt into your business and attempt to assist you with everything you do, even when you have things totally covered. Don't be afraid to tell them no. If they're bothered by your refusal, that's the time to go above and beyond and show them what you can accomplish without them. A success just might send them the message that you really are capable on your own.

It's okay to rely on them every once in a while—they are your parents, afterall. Be selective about when their help is needed and draw some lines for them.

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(Aladdin via Buena Vista Pictures)

 

Do Things Before You're Asked

If your parents are always breathing down your neck about doing chores or school assignments, one of the best ways to shut them up is to do them before they even ask. Chances are you're a busy person and it's not always possible to speed through these activities, so it can also be helpful to make to-do lists of what needs to get done. That way, you can prove that everything they want you to do is already on your mind and that you intend to accomplish it. It's hard to argue you would have forgotten it if you've already written down.

 

Be Willing to Take Responsibility

Try making it clear to your parents that your actions are yours and yours alone. When you make a mistake, own up to it, and don't get defensive when your parents bring them up. It helps when you understand that whatever you did reflect on you, and not your parents, and that you're learning from your errors.

 

Maintain Your Privacy and Set Boundaries

Keeping your own private life can be difficult when your parents are always trying to get involved, but it's important to set healthy boundaries with them. Delete them from your social media if you have to in order to give yourself a place to be yourself away from them. If your parents snoop around in your room, make sure they can't automatically log onto your computer or phone, and set your passwords to something they won't be able to guess. If you journal, get one that locks. They shouldn't be allowed to pry into your life without permission, so don't let them.

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(Tangled via Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

 

Have an Honest Talk With Them

It's not always easy, but having an open conversation with your parents about how their micromanagement is negatively impacting you can work wonders. Does it cause you stress and prevent you from being able to focus on the areas in which they want you to succeed? Let them know how it makes you feel and the ways it's stopping you from living your best life. They may not want to hear it, but it'll plant a seed in their minds. They do want the best for you, and knowing that their behavior is preventing you from flourishing might make something click for them.

 

Know You Can't Force Them to Change

You may not want to hear this, but you can't force your parents to stop micromanaging you if they're not open to the idea. All of this time they've been trying to control your actions and it hasn't changed your mind about the situation, so don't assume they would change either. You can try, but there's no guarantee you'll make them feel any differently about the situation.

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(The Little Mermaid via Buena Vista Pictures)

 

Live for Yourself

Even if the above steps don't work out for you, it's important to acknowledge that it's not your job to be everything your parents want you to be. In the end, you're in charge of your own wellbeing. It's you who should get to make the final decisions about the kinds of people you befriend or who you'll date. If you're restricted at home, use your time away from home to cultivate your relationships. Try practicing mindfulness or talking to a friend if you feel stressed about the situation. Don't forget that you're allowed to have fun and be happy.

 

Not sure how to bring it up at home? Click HERE for more tips on how to have an uncomfortable conversation with your parents.