Mistakes You'll Make in a New Relationship (That You Can Learn a Lot From)
Everyone makes mistakes in their relationships.
As hard as you try to keep things tidy and picture-perfect, things will never go exactly according to plan. In fact, the harder you try to perfect it, the more things will go wrong.
But don't stress. Mistakes are part of the learning process. In fact, they're essential in teaching you how to make the relationship work. Keep scrolling to find out common mistakes you'll probably make in the beginning, and how they can be your guide.
Being a Little Selfish
Most of us don't have a positive association with selfishness, but it's actually super important to at least be a little selfish. You should never forget about your own needs, as always prioritizing other people over yourself will just allow people to walk all over you.
Of course, there is a limit. If your selfishness leads to conflicts in your relationship, you can assess your priorities and potentially come to find a balance, learning some selflessness along the way.
Being Passive Aggressive
In new relationships, many people don't want to upset their new S.O.s, so they keep things to themselves when they're irritated or upset about something. This often leads to passive aggression. People indirectly express their dissatisfaction instead of facing it head-on, which can be annoying and unproductive.
Recognizing your own passive aggression is an important step. When you realize that you never actually get what you want when you refuse to speak up, it helps force you out of your bubble to confront what's bugging you. When you realize your partner will never be able to read your mind, being straightforward with them will do wonders for your relationship.
(Inside Out via Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)
Being a Bad Listener
Cell phones can make it really hard to always listen intently to your S.O. There will probably be times when you zone out, or only pay partial attention as you're scrolling through your friends' photos. It doesn't feel good to realize you haven't been listening, but it happens.
When you realize you missed something critical your partner said or get into an argument because you weren't fully there, it's usually a wakeup call to do better. Hopefully, this pushes you to be a better listener (and in turn a better S.O.) and to listen to actually soak in information about your S.O. instead of just listening for the sake of being polite.
Not everyone will admit it, but it's normal to be a little jealous of an S.O.'s ex or friends at first. It just means you really care for them and can be a little overprotective. However, that jealousy should eventually diminish as you learn to truly trust your significant other. If their too-good-looking friend that used to make you feel suspicious about your partner doesn't threaten you anymore, that's a good sign.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Avoiding Conflict at All Costs
Even though fights have a negative connotation, they can actually be critical to a relationship. Never getting into fights can mean that neither of you is willing to speak your mind, and a bunch of pent-up frustration from both sides isn't good for any partnership.
It's okay to feel like you don't want to upset your partner at the beginning of a relationship, but eventually, that needs to change. At some point, the facade will crack and you'll have to deal with any friction.
Getting Into Fights Too Early
Like we mentioned above, some disagreements should happen in every relationship. Even if it feels like it's super early in the relationship to be fighting, at least it indicates that you have no problem sharing your true feelings with one another. If the arguments seem petty or excessive, they might be an indicator that things won't work out, but a few fights here and there are actually healthy and will teach you everything you need to know about the relationship.
(SpongeBob SquarePants via Nickelodeon)
Talking About a Past Relationship
While you definitely shouldn't bring up your ex on a first date, talking about them after that isn't as off-limits as people might think. Though your S.O. might interpret those mentions to mean you're not over them, it's important not to forget the important things you learned, both about yourself and about dating, from your past relationship. The life lesson you learned in a fight with your ex might be what makes your current relationship last, so don't discount it.
Being Too Needy
If there's any time you're allowed to be super needy in a relationship, it's at the very beginning. You might want your significant other to be around all the time and spend every moment with you, and chances are that early on they'll feel the same way about you.
Over time, chances are, you'll get your fill of each other and learn to let the other aspects of your life, like friendships and hobbies, back in. It's not that you're not totally into each other anymore, but you'll start being more okay with not sharing every waking moment together. If it feels things haven't changed after you've been together a while, you'll have to reexamine whether you're actually in a relationship or just addicted to one another.
If you're worried about where things are going, click HERE for the relationship red flags you should never ignore.