6 Ways to Handle No Longer Being the Star of Your Squad

As evidenced in movies like Clueless and Mean Girls, sometimes the queen bee can get kicked out of her throne.

No matter the reason as to why a someone gets bumped down the social totem pole, it's a real hit to the ego, and can be a lot to handle emotionally.

Sure, this petty stuff shouldn't matter, but real talk—to many of us, it, unfortunately, does. So, just what do you do when you're no longer the leader of the pack or the star of your squad?


(Clueless via Paramount Pictures)

We've got some ideas for you, so keep scrolling and prepare to make your star shine once again.

1. Take a Moment to Reflect

Everything has a cause and effect, and something propelled someone else in your squad to top-tier status. Take a long pause to really think about why this may be. Have you been rude to your friends lately? Have you been absent from school a lot?  Have you been super flaky? Did you have a fight with another friend in the group? Once you analyze and pinpoint why things may have gotten a little shaky, you can then use that knowledge to change your behavior.


2. Initiate Fun Hangouts

If someone else is constantly coming up with cool hangout ideas, you're just along for the ride. Instead, take control and present thought-out options that your gang just can't refuse. Whether it's a themed DIY night where you provide the materials for all the guests, or a beach day where your mom volunteers to drive and feed everyone, if you keep coming up with creative ways to hang out, you'll find that your friends just can't say no.

friends play games at the beach during summer

(via Shutterstock)


3. Get Out of the Rut

If you feel like your friend group is stuck in routine and that you may be the source of the social slump, changing things up—physically or emotionally—is a great way to get out of your rut. If it feels more like an emotional slump, read some self-help books, create a vision board, dye your hair a bold shade, switch up your personal style or adopt a new exercise routine. Making a bold change can sometimes have a positive effect on your mood or confidence level. There are so many ways to change things up—the hard part is getting motivated to do so.

Guy dyeing girl's hair purple and blue ombre in a salon

(via Shutterstock)


4. Give Your Group a Chance to Miss You

Betcha never thought you'd have to play hard-to-get with your friends now, did you? Absence makes the heart grow fonder in any type of relationship, so do yourself a favor and stop saying "yes" to every single invite from your squad. Go off and do your own thing. Be busy. Trust us, when you're no longer super accessible, you'll be in high demand.


5. Become Closer With Some Acquaintances

There's probably a lab partner or math class neighbor who you totally vibe with, but never hang out with outside of your studies. When you're completely caught up with your crew, it's easy to invest all of your social energy in them. Instead, switch back and forth between hanging out with your main gaggle of gal pals and making time for people you're just getting to know better. Putting more effort into other friendships will give you a fresh perspective, and who knows who they may introduce you to?


(Mean Girls via Paramount Pictures)


6. Never Let 'Em See You Sweat

It's easy to mope around and complain about your sometimes-annoying social circle. Your complaints (although totally justified) can be taken as signs of low self-esteem. If you have a close friend who isn't part of your main friend group, vent to them. And, of course, there's always your family, who will be there when you need to let out frustration. As far as your friend group is concerned, keep strutting along as if everything is hunky-dory. The more you act like the queen you are, the more everyone will believe it.


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