Do Opposites REALLY Attract? A Dating Expert Weighs In
You've probably heard the hoopla on how "opposites attract"—in fact, you may have even crushed on or dated someone with whom you have nothing in common.
But, when we really get down to the thick of it, do opposites really attract? I mean, they may be drawn to each other initially, but do opposing partnerships typically stand the test of time?
We chatted with Dr. Terri Orbuch (aka The Love Doctor®), a professor at Oakland University in Michigan, who tells us we're attracted to our opposites "because we don't like ourselves, or we think that what we aren't is very exciting. Studies show opposites don't stay together over the long haul, and that it is similarity that keeps people together over time."
But, she clarifies, there is a grey area. "Similarity in underlying key life values is what's important—your approach to money, the importance of family, the role of religion, faith or spirituality in life," she explains. "You can have different interests, different movie and music preferences—but it's the underlying values and attitudes that make you you, and keep relationships long-lasting if similar with your partner."
Per Dr. Terri, studies show that couples with opposing values will end up in relationships filled with "tension and unresolved conflict and disagreements over time."
Picking the wrong partner off the bat is nothing to be ashamed of and is something very commonly done. When you're first getting out there in the dating world, you'll be attracted to all sorts of people—some of which you'll regret down the line. Dating helps you realize what your values and non-negotiables are, leading you to better decisions down the line. Once you've kissed enough frogs, you'll have a sense of what really matters to you in a relationship, and from there, you can apply Dr. Terri's expertise.
Want more dating advice from The Love Doctor? Click HERE to find out how to seem more approachable to people you want to attract!
