What to Do If Quarantine Makes You Miss Your Ex
This period of social distancing is an incredibly lonely time.
Even if you're doing your best to try and keep busy, the inability to actually see your friends in the flesh takes a toll on you after a while. Plus, all you can do while you're trapped at home is think. Unfortunately, that isn't always a good thing.
In all your thinking, you may have noticed that you've started to miss your ex. It may be pure loneliness, or you may have realized that you still have feelings for this person. Either way, what are you supposed to do about it when everyone's trapped inside?
Keep scrolling for our tips on how to deal if quarantine made you miss your ex.
Try Not to Reach Out
This is a highly confusing time for all of us. Our emotions can't be trusted, and we shouldn't be making big life decisions while we're all stuck inside. As a general rule, you really shouldn't reach out to your ex during quarantine. If you feel the need to talk to them, wait until things get back to normal. When the world returns to business as usual, you may find that you no longer want to talk to your ex.
(Sierra Burgess Is A Loser via Netflix)
Reach Out to Other People
Of course, simply saying, "Don't reach out to your ex" isn't always doable. Depending on how strong your feelings are, it may feel impossible to keep yourself from contacting them. Before you send that text message, however, reach out to other people. Talk to friends you haven't chatted with in a while or just spend some quality time on the phone with your BFF. It's possible that your supposed need to talk to your ex is just a need to talk to someone close to you. If you have a quality conversation with someone you care about, you may find the need to talk to your ex disappears.
Give It Time
Before you decide that you miss your ex and you need to speak to them again, give your feelings a little time to settle. You may find that they completely disappear after a day or two and the normal apathy towards your former relationship reappears. Give yourself time to feel the feelings before you take action. Otherwise, you might rush into reestablishing contact, only to realize that your feelings were temporary, quarantine-related insanity.
(You via Netflix)
Your feelings toward your ex could be quarantine-related insanity, or they could be entirely genuine. Maybe you just needed this quarantine to realize just how much your ex means to you. However, you still don't know how your ex feels about you.
Before you pour out all your feelings and overwhelm your former partner, start with a simple text. Tell them you've been thinking about them or just reach out to see how they're doing. This text will allow you to gauge their interest in actually talking to you. Not only that, but it also ensures that you don't add more pressure to what's already a stressful time.
Go With the Flow
If you're going to talk to your ex during quarantine, try to enter the conversation without any expectations. Everyone is handling quarantine differently and it's entirely possible that your text will only make a bad situation worse for your ex. In fact, they might not even want to talk to you. And if they do want to talk to you, the conversation may be short and sweet. On the other hand, your text may have been the excuse they were looking for to speak to you again.
Whatever happens with your ex, try to go with the flow. If you expect too much from your former partner, you're going to be disappointed and hurt. Those feelings will just make quarantine that much harder. It's okay to reach out, but you have to be prepared for a response you might not have wanted.
(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)
Don't Make Big Decisions
In case we haven't been clear, we'll say it one more time: Quarantine isn't really the best time to rekindle a relationship. If you decide to reach out to your ex, try to refrain from making any big decisions. For example, you shouldn't decide to get back together during this time.
In truth, getting back together with an ex right now is fairly pointless. You can't even see each other until quarantine is over. Beyond that, however, it's easy to get back into a partnership with an ex when you can't see anyone or do anything else. Wait until life returns to its normal rhythm. When that happens, the problems that made you break-up in the first place will likely still be there.
Quarantine basically forces all of us into a tiny bubble that's not exactly reality. You're only experiencing a sliver of what your normal life actually looks like, minus the pressures and stresses that make your relationships so hard. During this time, it's easy to look at your past relationship with rose-colored glasses, especially if you're in contact with your ex again.
If the two of you are talking normally and developing a close friendship, you may start to forget about the aspects of your partnership that made you break up. Unfortunately, those incompatibilities are still present. Try to remember the reality of what your relationship looks like in the real world, rather than falling in love all over again in the vacuum of quarantine.
Looking for more advice on dealing with your ex? Click HERE for how to tell your ex you miss them without being a cliché.