7 Questions You Should Ask Someone Before You Start a Relationship With Them
Dating is so much more than just having feelings for someone.
In fact, an emotional connection is just step one. Compatibility, timing and availability all factor into the process, as well as many other elements that will determine whether or not your relationship is a success.
While you need to examine your own relationship-readiness, you should also check in with your partner to make sure you're on the same page before you jump into a new romance.
Keep scrolling for seven questions you should ask someone before you start a relationship with them.
1. 'Are You Really Ready for a Relationship?'
First and foremost, you have to make sure you and your potential partner are on the same page. While you may have dreamed up an entire romantic future for the two of you, complete with family trips and Friday date nights, they may view your relationship as a simple fling. If that's so, it's better to know early and extricate yourself from the situation, rather than allowing yourself to continue building up a romance in your mind that simply isn't going to happen.
(Riverdale via The CW)
2. 'What are your top priorities?'
A partner who has similar values as you is so crucial to the success of a relationship. Not only because it will dictate how they treat you, but also because values make up the core of our beings. If you have conflicting values, things are bound to go up in flames eventually. This seemingly insignificant question can reveal a lot about what's important to your potential partner, and whether you, yourself, make that list.
3. 'What do you need to have in a relationship?'
Another inquiry that can get to the core of your potential partner's values, this question allows your partner to specifically tell you what they would want from you, were you to get into a relationship. If they list off requirements that you know you can't meet, you can pretty much assume that a relationship isn't in the cards for the two of you. This question gives you a sense of what they won't compromise on, and it allows you to judge whether or not you'd be compatible in a romantic scenario.
4. 'How do you handle arguments?'
Unfortunately, no relationship is without conflict. Thankfully, that also means that you can get through conflict, you just have to work together. Understanding each other's conflict styles is crucial to determining whether or not you'll be able to make it through a fight. Obviously you can't know until an argument arises, but this question helps you get ahead of the problem and identify any red flags, like temper issues or emotional manipulation, before it's too late.
(You via Lifetime)
5. 'Why did your last relationship end?'
You don't need to get into the nitty-gritty details of past romances if that isn't your style. However, asking your partner why their past relationship ended gives you a pretty clear idea of what doesn't work for them in a romance. You might notice that the two of you are already repeating many of the same behaviors as their past partnership, or you might discover that your relationship is already stronger than what they had with their ex. Either way, it gives you important insight into what they classify as relationship problems and how they deal with those issues when they arise.
6. 'Are you over your ex?'
A tough and awkward question, but oh-so-necessary. Exes can be kryptonite to a relationship, especially if your partner hasn't fully moved on. No one wants to admit they're still hung up on a past romance, but sometimes just gauging your potential S.O.'s response to the question is all the answer you need. Plus, a positive answer can give you peace of mind to move forward without fear that an ex will waltz back into the picture.
7. 'Have you ever cheated on someone?'
We don't abide by the "once a cheater, always a cheater" rule, as we genuinely believe people can change. However, past unfaithfulness is still important to confront with your potential partner, as it suggests a slightly disturbing pattern of behavior. It shows that they've been comfortable with lying and hurting people in the past, which is a topic that deserves to be addressed if the two of you are going to enter a relationship.
(Grey's Anatomy via ABC)
In need of more dating advice? Click HERE for what to keep in mind if you're feeling anxious about a new relationship.