5 Major Reasons We All Need a Boyfriend Like Peter Kavinsky

If you've watched To All the Boys I've Loved Before, you're probably totally on board with our all-consuming love for Peter Kavinsky.

Not only is he absolutely gorgeous, he's also the epitome of boyfriend perfection with a totally swoon-worthy and nearly unattainable teen heartthrob vibe.

While we know that Peter Kavinsky himself doesn't exist, we strongly believe that everyone should be on the hunt for their own real-life Peter.

If you need a little more convincing, keep scrolling for five major reasons we all need a boyfriend like Peter Kavinsky.

1. He's Respectful

The first quality that makes Peter Kavinsky total boyfriend-material is his utter and complete respect for everyone in his life. Despite the fact that him and Lara Jean disagree on the best way to handle certain things, he never tries to change her or pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do. Instead, he works to understand where she's coming from and is always mindful of her different viewpoints. The best example? The fact that Lara Jean doesn't want to kiss during their fake relationship because she doesn't want all her first-boyfriend moments to be based in a lie. Peter disagrees with her, but he understands her reasoning and doesn't try to force her into a different mindset.

But not only is Peter respectful of Lara Jean, he's also respectful of Gen, even at times when it would be more satisfying for him to totally blow her off. He refuses to talk badly about Gen when they're dating and does his best to be kind to her after their breakup, even though she's often mean and hateful towards him. While part of us would have loved to see Peter tell Gen off, we think it was a beautiful sign of his sweet soul that he never delved into rudeness or anger with anyone, including his frustrating ex-girlfriend. In fact, the only person he gets upset with the entire movie is Josh, which, hey—no one can be perfect all the time.

Peter drinking a milkshake at the corner cafe

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)


2. He Listens

If there's one thing we find as a constant issue in our relationships, it's listening. People in general tend to have trouble truly listening to someone when they talk, as they're often planning what they're going to say next, thinking about other things or pointing out all the flaws in the person's argument, rather than actually paying attention to what they're saying.

Peter, however, makes it obvious that he really listens to Lara Jean when she talks. He asks insightful questions and he's genuinely curious about her response. Not only is this an amazing skill to have, it's also a sign of how much he cares for and respects her. Get you a boy who listens like Peter, because we can promise they're few and far between.


3. He's Open and Honest

While listening is a great and difficult quality to find, it doesn't mean much if you're never willing to share anything about yourself. If you have a guy who listens intently to everything you say, but doesn't ever want to be open with his own emotions, you're only serving to build a very one-sided relationship, and sadly those will never last.

Thankfully, as well as Peter listens, he's also willing to be emotionally honest with his own feelings. He's open and vulnerable with Lara Jean, even going as far as to share things that he wouldn't share with anyone else. It shows that building a mutually truthful relationship is important to him, and that he trusts her enough to confide in her. It's unbearably sweet, and also an important aspect of a healthy relationship.

Peter listening to Lara jean

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)


4. He Challenges Instead of Changes

The best relationships push you out of your comfort zone without ever forcing you to be anyone but yourself. That might sound confusing, but basically what we're trying to say is that it's good to be challenged in a relationship and encouraged to be the best version of yourself, but it's not good to be with someone who wants to change the core aspects of your personality.

Peter challenges Lara Jean instead of changing her. He understands that she's shy, quiet and hopelessly romantic, and he adores her for all those reasons, not in spite of them. At the same time, he encourages her to open up and stop being so afraid of participating in the world. He simultaneously encourages the good qualities in her and brings out equally as awesome aspects of her personality, which is what everyone should be looking for.


5. He Starts Off Good

An all-too-common theme in romantic movies is the bad-boy-turned-good character arc. It involves a disrespectful, wild, emotionally stunted or otherwise unfavorable romantic partner pulling himself together because he finds a girl he really likes. While it adds a dose of drama and romance, it's simply not attainable in the real world. People with bad habits can't change on a dime, and they're guaranteed to bring those negative behaviors into your relationship in some form.

Unlike the bad boy character, Peter is good through-and-through. Sure, he's a jock who knows the ins-and-outs of popularity and fell for the beautiful but catty girl, but he's genuinely good at his core. Given that their relationship was fake, he could have put on a nice show for his peers and treated Lara Jean coldly in private. Instead, he consistently took into account her feelings and reactions, creating a space where she felt emotionally respected and cared for from day 1. It's a story we don't often see play out on the screen, and one that we should all be looking for.

Peter sitting in the hot tub

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)

If you're as in love with Peter as we are, click HERE for 12 posts you need to see.