What to Do If You Regret Breaking Up With Your Ex
Breaking up with someone is a really tough decision.
As much as you'd like to believe that you fully thought things through before you ended the relationship, you may separate from your ex only to find that the phrase "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone" couldn't be more true.
By the time you realize that you never should've ended the relationship, it may too late. You and your ex are already broken up—how are you supposed to weasel your way back into their life after you broke their heart?
We might have the answer. Keep scrolling for our tips on what to do if you regret breaking up with your ex.
Don't Rush Into Anything
If you're going to try and win an ex back, you have to remember that slow and steady wins the race. You already rushed into breaking up with them without thinking through the consequences of your actions. That's exactly why you're regretting your decision now. Feeling like you should get back with your ex doesn't mean that you should immediately send them a long-winded text message begging for another chance at the relationship.
Take a breath, take your time and handle things the right way. You should take at least a month to think through all your tumultuous feelings. During that time, you may realize that you were simply missing the companionship, rather than actually missing your ex.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Now that you've put that urge to text your ex begging for another chance to bed, it's time to really analyze your feelings. Breakups are hard to deal with. Even if you're the one who initiated the split, it's difficult to go through your day-to-day life without someone who used to be so important to you. So ask yourself: Do you miss your ex? Or do you simply miss the relationship?
There's a stark difference. If you miss the relationship, it's not about the person at all. It's about having someone to lean on and hang out with when you have nothing better to do. If you miss the person, that's a different story. The time away from your ex may have shown you just how much they mean to you and what an amazing person they are.
Missing the relationship will pass as you adjust back into the single life. Once you get over the initial hump of sadness, you'll realize that you made the right choice. Before you make another move, take some time to question your real intentions. If this longing for your ex is just a fleeting feeling, it's not worth pursuing.
Think About Why You Ended It
In addition to questioning why you regret breaking up with your ex, it's also important to think about why you ended it. Even if you had some epiphany that led you to believe things in your relationship weren't that bad, there was still a reason that you decided to call it off.
Time apart doesn't turn your ex into an entirely new person. Whatever problems you had before that led to your breakup will still be there. You just have to determine if those things were actually deserving of a split, or whether you jumped the gun and now realize that the two of you could have worked on things together.
It's totally possible that ending the relationship was a mistake. However, it's also possible that you're only remembering the good times in the wake of your sadness about the split. Before you make another move, remember why you broke up in the first place. Once you start focusing on those bad times, you may realize that you actually made the right decision.
(New Girl via FOX)
If you're still convinced that getting back together with your ex is the right move, you have to understand that things might not work out in your favor. While you've realized that the split was a mistake, you still caused your ex a lot of pain by breaking up with them. You may be growing closer to them in your time apart, but they could be growing further away from you.
If you're going to try and win your ex back, you can't be afraid of rejection. If you're too afraid that they're going to turn you down, you could live the rest of your life wondering what could have happened if you had given things a shot. Accept that you might be rejected. In fact, expect to be rejected. That way you can pursue the relationship without fear and give it the best you have. Even if they turn you down, you can walk away with no more regrets.
Ask for an In-Person Convo
If you're going to tell your ex you regret breaking up with them, you can't do it in a text. Anyone can send a simple "I miss you," but if you're serious about getting back together, you need to have an in-person conversation. Ask your ex if the two of you can meet up. Whether you go for coffee, dinner, ice cream, it doesn't really matter—just find a way to spend some time together in person.
With a face-to-face conversation, you ensure that you can communicate everything you want to say. While things can get misinterpreted or lost in text messages, an in-person convo will leave nothing unsaid. It's certainly scarier to face, but it's also the right way to approach the situation, both for you and for your ex.
(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)
Asking your ex for another chance is hard to do. But if you really want things to work out, you have to be completely honest. Tell them how you were feeling at the time of your breakup and outline the specific things that led you to believe a split was the right thing. Then, explain to them how your feelings have changed since you called it off. Explain why you think it was a mistake and where you see the relationship going in the future.
Basically, just lay it all out on the table. It's vulnerable and so terrifying, but it allows you to fully clear the air between the two of you. It puts your ex in the position of power—a position that was denied to them when you broke off the relationship in the past. It's time to make up for your past mistake and let them call the shots. Being totally honest is the only way to do it.
Give Them Time
While there's a small possibility that your ex will welcome you back with open arms, it's more likely that they'll need some time to think. They've been working on getting over the relationship, and your admission that you think it's a mistake will shift them into an entirely new mindset. They need time to process and to decide for themselves what's the right thing to do. Don't rush them into a decision or pressure them into answering right away. Give them time to think, even if it's longer than you would ideally like.
(Riverdale via The CW)
Accept Their Decision
After you've spoken to your ex and asked for another chance, you have to accept whatever decision they make. If they want to get back together—cool! Head into the relationship and do your best to improve the problems you had before. If they decide that they're done with you, however, you have to accept that, too. No begging them to reconsider or popping up every month or two to see if they changed their mind. You can relax in the fact that you did everything you could to remedy your mistake. However, you also have to understand that there are two people in a relationship. If your ex doesn't want to be with you, there's nothing more you can do.
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