5 Things You Should Stop Saying to Your Friends Who Are in a Relationship
If you're single, it's easy to pass judgment on your pals who are in a relationship.
You can either assume that their life is all sunshine and rainbows because they have an S.O. who cares about them, or you can judge every interaction with their person and use it as your justification for your lack of interest in their romance.
Either way, being the friend in a relationship can be just as hard as being the single friend, especially when you hear the same few expressions over and over. With that in mind, keep scrolling for five things you should stop saying to your friends who are in a relationship.
1. 'Maybe you guys should break up.'
This is without a doubt the worst thing you can say to your coupled-up friend, even if you believe it. Let's break this down. If your pal vents to you about their relationship, they're probably doing just that—venting. They're not looking for advice and they're not telling you their relationship is horrible. They just need an outlet to express their frustration, and responding by suggesting a breakup will definitely put a rift between the two of you.
On the other hand, let's say you genuinely mean this. Maybe you think your friend's relationship is really unhealthy and you want them to cut things off. Do you really think their relationship will end just because you casually suggested it? Absolutely not. If you think a breakup is necessary, point out the things that are wrong with their romance and let them come to their own conclusion. Either way, quit telling your coupled-up friends to break up—it's the least useful phrase ever.
(The Kissing Booth via Netflix)
2. 'You don't know how hard it is to be single.'
Newsflash: Your friends who are in a relationship were also single at some point. Just because they found their person doesn't automatically mean that they forgot how frustrating the single life can be. What's more, being in a relationship isn't always a walk in the park, either. Each situation has its own challenges, and saying this to your friend only blocks them from participating in what's going on in your life. They might be in a relationship, but they can still have some valuable insight into your situation.
3. 'You're spend all your time with them.'
It's an unfortunate truth—balancing time between your friends and your S.O. while you're in a relationship can be tricky. Chances are, your friend doesn't spend as much time with their S.O. as you think, you just feel their absence more because they used to spend all their time with you. Plus, it's a judgmental and frustrating phrase to hear, especially if your friend really tries to balance their time evenly. If you want more time with your pal, find a nicer way to say it. And remember that you have to share them now, whether you want to or not.
(Chilling Adventures of Sabrina via Netflix)
4. 'Do you think it will last?"
Um, how are they supposed to know? Relationships are complicated, but no one goes in hoping it will end. On the other hand, most romances probably won't last, especially while you're young. Bringing this up only makes your coupled-up friends feel awkward, as there's no answer that's really satisfying.
5. 'Don't you miss being single?'
Um, well considering they're in a relationship, probably not? What kind of question is this even? It only makes it very clear to your pal that you don't really support their relationship, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this. If your friend is dating someone, they've made a very obvious decision to leave the single life behind them. If you're a good friend, you should respect that.
Looking for more advice on managing your friendships? Click HERE for how to deal with a self-absorbed friend.