The most important person to worry about after a breakup is yourself.

That may sound selfish to say, but that’s far from the case. You’re the only person who’s guaranteed to have your back throughout life, so you better treat yourself right.

This is so incredibly true when you’re your most vulnerable, specifically after a relationship has ended. It can be tough to move on and feel like you’ll ever find love again, so turning into your own caretaker is a role you must embrace.

Not sure how to do just that? Scroll below for 10 ways to take care of yourself after a breakup.

Let It Out

Whatever you’re feeling, feel it. The worst you can do is pretend like you’re fine and try to convince yourself you are. You deserve time to heal, so if that includes crying into your pillow for an hour or venting your frustrations to your bestie, do exactly that. There is no shame in getting emotional and letting it all out. You’ll feel so much better doing that, rather than suppressing your emotions from your loved ones and, most importantly, yourself. How can you expect to move on when you just keep lying to yourself about being fine? You can’t.


Rely on Your Loved Ones

Don’t feel as though you can’t lean on your friends or family members during your time of need. They want to be there for you, and if they really care about you, they’ll have no problem doing so. Don’t feel bad about seeking their help, because we all need it more than we’d like to admit. At the end of the day, your loved ones will truly help you get over everything.

Just be sure to give them a warning before you throw this all on them. Though they want to help you, sometimes they might not be in the right headspace to give you the advice you want to hear or be your shoulder to cry on. Simply asking them if you can vent about your breakup for a minute will do just the trick. If they say they can’t, don’t take any offense. They want to give you what you need, but they can’t—it happens.

Spencer comforting Hanna on Pretty Little Liars

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)


Cut Off Communication With Your Ex

As much as you may want to keep talking to your ex post-breakup, doing so will make it that much harder to move on and heal. Delete your text messages, mute them on all social media and avoid seeing them in person at all costs. Cutting them out of your life isn’t easy, but it’ll be so much tougher having them by your side as you’re trying to get over them. We’ve experienced breakups that went both ways and we can safely say it was way easier to let go of what happened when we didn’t communicate with our ex. In fact, it even made a strong friendship possible.


Find Ways to Distract Yourself

Feelings are great, even when they’re negative. We’re humans, not robots, so we’re going to have some not fun emotions that we’ll need to deal with post-breakup. That said, no one enjoys or should be sad 24/7. This feeling tends to take over after a breakup, so what do you do? Why, you distract yourself, of course. Make plans with your besties, spend some quality time with your siblings, treat yourself to a spa day—just do something that gets you out of your negative headspace and reminds you what it’s like to feel good about yourself again.

Lara Jean cleaning her room in To All the Boys I've Loved Before

(To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before via Netflix)


Don’t Try to Get Revenge

Depending on how badly the breakup went, the first thing on your mind might be seeking revenge. You may want to do unto them as they have done unto you, but that’s not how the golden rule works. Rather than letting this negative energy take over and cause you to do something you’ll only regret (trust us—been there, done that, it didn’t help), turn those feelings into something positive. Find a creative way to unleash your pent-up aggression towards your ex. You’ll feel so much better working things out that way, rather than creating a plan to destroy their life.


Don’t Seek Out a New Relationship Too Quickly

You’ll often hear that the best way to get over someone is to find someone new. We don’t necessarily believe in that mentality, because we’ve tried it and it didn’t really help. Plus, it’s not fair to the other person involved, because you’re essentially using them as a rebound or to get back at your ex. They’re treated like an object, rather than an actual human being. Would you appreciate being used for that reason? Absolutely not, so don’t give into this desire. Instead, wait a good amount of time after your breakup to start dating again. We’re not saying you need to be completely over your ex before you start seeing someone new, but you should be somewhat over them.

Spencer cozying up to Caleb on Pretty Little Liars

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)


Avoid Things That Remind You of Your Ex

Is there a certain TV show your ex was a major fan of? Do they have a favorite sports team? Is there a restaurant they tend to frequent more often than the rest? Avoid those places and things at all cost, because seeing them—or things that remind you of them—will only make you long to rekindle your relationship that much more.

The best thing to do is actually partake in things they detest. So if your ex hated a particular movie, watching it will feel like you’re sticking it to them in some weird way. Trust us, it works.


Focus on the Lesson

It’s so easy to feel like a failure after a breakup, especially if you were the dumpee. You begin to believe you’re problematic and convince yourself you’re not worthy of love. That’s definitely not the case, so stop thinking that way. Rather than focusing on this upsetting heartbreak, pay attention to the lesson it taught you—there’s always one or two of ’em. Maybe you learned to be a bit more confident in yourself, or maybe you realized you need to better communicate your wants and needs with your partner?

Becky G looking confused in Power Rangers

(Power Rangers via Lionsgate)


Be Gentle With Yourself

The healing process after a breakup takes time and isn’t the same for everyone, but no matter where you fall on the scale, always remember to be gentle with yourself. Don’t get upset when you randomly think of your ex six months after the breakup. Don’t talk down to yourself when you have an impromptu IG stalking sesh. These things are going to happen post-split, so accept when they take place and move on. This brings us to our next point.

Forgive and Move On

Forgive… and then move on. When we say this, we don’t just mean to pardon your ex for what they’ve done, but also to absolve yourself from any guilt you feel post-breakup. This moment isn’t always the easiest, but it’s one everyone needs to experience. Once you finally let go of it all, you’ll find you can start anew with someone else. And maybe you can even be friends with your ex?

The final dance scene in Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

(Sierra Burgess Is a Loser via Netflix)


Based on your zodiac sign, we bet we know how you deal with a breakup. Head over HERE to see if we’ve got you all figured out.