5 Signs You Haven't Fully Recovered From Your Breakup

How do you know if you've truly recovered from a tough breakup?

Is it when you start dating someone new? Is it when you stop checking in on your ex's social media? Is it when you can think of them without crying? Honestly, there's no right answer.

Everyone has a different timeline for their breakup recovery, so it's impossible to say when you might be fully moved on from a past romance. However, there are definitely some universal signs that you're not ready to re-enter the dating scene quite yet.

Keep scrolling for five signs you haven't yet recovered from your breakup.

1. The Pain Is Still Fresh

Breakups, both good and bad, come with a lot of pain. You might know that it's the right decision—heck, you might have been the one who initiated it—but that doesn't stop you from hurting as you mourn the end of a romance. If you can't think of your former relationship without feeling a fresh round of pain, you're far from fully recovered.

Trying to force that pain down or ignore it is only going to stunt your healing process, whereas embracing it and allowing yourself to go through the tough times will ultimately result in a faster recovery. If there's still pain lingering under the surface, don't beat yourself up. Just give yourself a little more time to heal before you make any rash decisions.

Riverdale: Betty Crying

(Riverdale via The CW)


2. You Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex

When you're in a serious relationship, the person you're dating is frequently present in your mind. You don't spend all day every day thinking about them, but you'll find that your thoughts drift to them as you're doing other things—it's just a natural part of really caring for someone. If you still find your mind drifting to your ex pretty consistently after a breakup, you're not fully healed from your split.

Constantly thinking about your ex shows that you haven't quite accomplished the difficult feat of separating your emotions from this person. It takes time to untangle those feelings, and continuing to think about your former love is simply a sign that you need more time to work through those complicated emotions.


3. You're Looking for a Distraction

In the aftermath of a breakup, it's natural to look for a way to distract yourself from the pain. While we don't recommend that you divert your feelings into a new relationship immediately, occupying yourself with friends, hobbies and activities can be a good way to dull the pain and keep yourself in good spirits while you wait for time to heal your wounds.

However, you shouldn't confuse being preoccupied with being healed. Just because you're not lying in bed sobbing every day does not mean you're recovered from your breakup. If you're still looking for distractions from your painful emotions, you're not fully recovered from your breakup. You'll know you're healed when you can be alone with yourself without wallowing in sadness, not when you can participate in enough things that you don't have to really think about how you're feeling.

Stranger Things: Nancy and Steve break up

(Stranger Things via Netflix)


4. You're Looking for the Same Relationship

If you're looking for a relationship that's the same as the one that just ended, you're definitely not over your ex. By this we mean that you're craving the same qualities that your ex had or a similar chemistry as the relationship you just got out of. While that might seem normal if you felt very strongly for your ex, you have to remember that the two of you broke up, meaning something about that relationship wasn't right.

If you're fully healed from your breakup, you'll be able to recognize where things went wrong and discover the different qualities you should be looking for in the future. If you're still in the mourning stage of your breakup, however, you'll find yourself striving to recreate your past romance, which will only lead to the same set of problems down the line.


5. You're Constantly Stalking Them on Social Media

Social media gives us a unique opportunity to feel close to someone without having to physically be with them. That isn't always the healthiest thing following a breakup. While checking up on your ex's social media every now and then is normal, checking their profile every time you open your phone is definitely a sign that you're not over the pain of your breakup. It shows that you're still struggling to detach yourself from them, and that you're continuing to crave their presence in your life.

It's not something to be ashamed of—it's simply a sign that you need more time to heal.


Struggling to move on after a difficult split? Click HERE for our best tips on how to take care of yourself after a breakup.