On again-off again relationships are exhausting.
Whether you’re desperately in love with the person or you’re just not ready to be alone yet, the constant cycle of breakups and makeups can take a huge toll on your emotional well-being.
The worst part of on-and-off relationship is never knowing when your relationship is over for good, which can keep you hanging on to the hope that you and your sometimes-S.O. will still be able to fix things.
If you’re not quite sure if this “off” season will stick, keep scrolling for five signs that your on-and-off relationship is over for good.
Because of the volatile nature of on-and-off relationships, there are rarely times when you and your S.O. completely cut off all contact with each other. Sure, you might stop talking for a day or two, but then you fall back into old habits and pick up right where you left off. If neither of you have made an effort to talk following a breakup, the chances of you making up are slim to none. Not only do you have to talk if you want to work things out, but a lack of communication also signifies that neither of you are invested in fixing things. If both of you have realized that taking time to talk it out isn’t high on your list of priorities, your relationship has probably come to a very necessary end.
While simply not talking is a pretty clear sign that a makeup isn’t on the horizon, communicating with your on-and-off S.O. following a breakup can be equally as telling. When you truly have feelings for someone and want to spend your time with them, you will likely feel happy and excited during every tiny communication. Even if you’re angry with your S.O., that sense of excitement and butterflies is a large part of what draws you back in to the relationship. If this time, however, a text or phone call from your S.O. only results in annoyance, it’s unlikely you’ll want to repair things. Being irritated at contact with your S.O. signifies that they have pushed your buttons one too many times, and this time there’s no going back.
Breakups aren’t quite as solid in on-and-off relationships as they are in other relationships. Even though you’re not technically attached at the moment, you will probably still feel a sense of guilt and apprehension when you flirt with someone else. However, if you and your S.O. are in a breakup stage and you feel totally comfortable flirting with the hottie in your English class, it’s definitely a sign that you’re ready to let your volatile relationship go and move on.
Comfort and security are huge factors that keep us trapped in on-and-off relationships. When you’ve spent a lot of time with someone, you become reliant on their support and advice for all the little problems that arise in your life. In fact, sharing emotional or frustrating things that happen to you may play a role in your constantly getting back together. Therefore, being in a breakup stage and no longer feeling the need to share the tiny details of your life can be a pretty definite sign that things between you and your S.O. are done for good.
Part of the justification for continuing on-and-off relationships stems from the idea that the good outweighs the bad. You may fight constantly and breakups may be a common occurrence, but you still feel like your good memories are worth the effort you’re putting into the relationship. However, if you feel that the bad has now started to outweigh the good, you won’t want to put in the same amount of effort to fix the relationship. If bad times are a more common occurrence on your list than good times, your relationship has probably hit the brakes permanently, which is likely a good thing.
It might feel like love with your on-and-off S.O., but what if you’re wrong? Click HERE to find out if you’re in love or just crushing hard.