5 Signs Your S.O. Is Using You

Getting used by your S.O. stinks.

While you may think that getting used by someone you're interested in or dating is fairly easy to spot, it can be pretty tricky to pinpoint if you don't know the right signs or behaviors to look for.

Worried your significant other might be using you? Scroll down for a list of signs you should keep an eye out for.

They Never Want to Do What You Want to Do

If it seems like your significant other is always calling the shots in terms of what you two do together and how you spend time with one another, this could be a sign that he or she is using you. Perhaps, for example, this person is trying to make an ex jealous. A person who is genuinely interested in being in a relationship with you should want to make you happy, and, therefore, wouldn't be so selfish and controlling.


You Haven't Met Their Friends

If you've been with your significant other for a fair amount of time and have yet to meet any of his or her friends, this could be another sign that he or she is using you, because they are keeping you removed from a very important and crucial aspect of their life. Again, in time, people who are truly invested in a relationship will want you to meet their friends and become ingrained in other aspects of their lives. It is part of what helps a relationship grow and evolve.

Mike and El in Stranger Things
(Stranger Things via Netflix)


They Will Only Interact With You in Certain Situations

Another red flag to look out for is if your significant other will only interact with you on their terms. Much like someone who always calls the shots on what you do together, this is a person who is exerting an unfair amount of control over the relationship while letting you have very little or no say at all. Simply put, this is not someone who is genuinely interested in truly developing a meaningful relationship with you. Instead, look for someone who is pleased and proud to talk to you in the halls or hold hands when you go to the movies.


They Show No Interest in Getting to Know You Better

Looking for an early sign that your significant other might be using you? If they're not making a concerted effort to get to know you better in the beginning stages of your relationship, that 's a strong indicator that something is seriously amiss. A big part of being involved with someone in a romantic way is finding out more about them—their likes and dislikes, for example—and adjusting your behavior accordingly. If you're partner doesn't have an interest in getting to know and understand you, he or she is clearly not invested in the relationship in a meaningful way.

Peter and Gen in To All the Boys I've Loved Before
(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)


They're Only Nice When They Need to Be

If your significant other is only nice to you when they need to be—ie. when they need or want something from you—that's a classic, surefire sign that you're being used. It's cold and transactional not warm and engaging, which is the type of behavior you should be looking out for.


For more relationship advice, click HERE for five excuses a crush uses when they're really not interested in you.