Why You Should Stop Worrying About Someone Who Just Isn't That Into You

If you've spent any time in the world of dating, you've probably very quickly learned that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

In fact, you're probably going to run into lots of people who aren't really that into you, just like there are plenty of people you wouldn't even consider a relationship with. Unfortunately, we all tend to focus on the bad more than the good, which means we put way too much mental energy into obsessing over the people who don't like us.

Even though you might cognitively know that it's ridiculous to spend your time worrying about someone who isn't worried about you, sometimes you could use a little reminder. Keep scrolling for why you should stop worrying about someone who just isn't that into you.

It's Not a Reflection on You

When you hear that someone doesn't share your romantic feelings, it's a natural response to automatically wonder what you did wrong. You start questioning what exactly they don't like about you, what you could have done differently or how specifically you may have turned them off from wanting to date you. But in reality, the way someone else feels about you isn't at all a reflection of who you are. There's so much that goes into a successful relationship. Not only do you have to have a physical attraction, an emotional chemistry and a similar communication style, but timing, future goals, relationship expectations and a thousand other things that are totally out of your control also have to align for you romance to work out.

There are a million potential reasons why someone could decide that they're not into you, and very few of them are reflective of who you are. It's always more about what they're looking for and the ways you two interact together than it is about specific things you could have done differently. Just because you don't work out with one person doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you—it just means that you have to look for someone who's better suited to your personality.

Riverdale Cheryl and Archie

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

It's a Waste of Time

Honestly, spending your time worrying about someone who's already shown that they just aren't that into you is just a waste of time. Thinking about them constantly and wondering how things could have gone differently isn't going to change the outcome. They've already decided that they're not interested in you—whatever time you spend trying to change that probably isn't going to work out in your favor. What's more, while you're spending all your time worrying about them, they probably haven't even thought about you. It's harsh, but it's true—don't throw away valuable moments in your life for someone who has no interest in you.

 

It's Keeping You From Other Possibilities

In addition to wasting your valuable time, continuing to obsess over someone who isn't interested in you keeps you from moving on and experiencing other possibilities. There are literally thousands of dating options available to you. We know it doesn't necessarily feel like it when you're trapped in the world of high school, but there will always be someone else who will give you palm sweats and butterflies. However, if you're still focused on the person who's already turned you down, you're going to miss all those other opportunities. And for what? That door is already closed—walk away from it and we can guarantee that you'll run into something better.

Sierra Burgess is a Loser: Veronica sitting in the hall crying

(Sierra Burgess Is a Loser via Netflix)

 

It Lowers Your Standards

Frustrating and confusing as it might be, obsessing over someone who isn't that into you is most harmful because it lowers your standards. You know what you deserve in a relationship. Most importantly, you shouldn't ever settle for someone who isn't willing to put the same amount of effort that you are into a relationship. By continuing to worry about someone who has already shown their lack of interest in you, you're not holding them or yourself to a high standard of behavior. Instead, you're creating a situation where you're putting 90% of the effort in and still pining over someone who won't even give you the time of day. Worrying about someone who isn't that into you lowers your relationship standards, which ultimately only hurts one person—you.

 

Need a little more brutally honest advice? Click HERE for how to stop being jealous in a relationship.