7 Subtle Mistakes That Might Ruin a First Date

Ugh, the dreaded first date.

Although it's supposed to be a fun occasion, most of the actual meet-up is spent worrying about whether or not you're impressing your counterpart. Should you laugh more? Are you laughing too much? What if there's food stuck in your teeth? Ugh, why didn't you just stay home with Netflix? Netflix doesn't judge you.

Archie and Veronica Walking

(Riverdale via The CW)

While there are definitely some major blunders you should obviously stay away from (spoiler: using the word "girlfriend" at any time probably won't end well), sometimes your first date turn-offs might happen totally under the radar.

If you find you have trouble landing a second date, keep scrolling for seven subtle mistakes that might ruin a first date.

Not Offering to Pay

Whether you feel like it's your date's responsibility to pay or you're totally fine with going Dutch, it's always nice to offer to cover part of the check. If you don't, it can come across as a bit stingy or entitled, which might turn your date off from wanting to see you again.

If they take you up on your offer to pay and it bothers you, you'll just know that you might not want to see them again. Either way, participating in the "check dance" is a nice courtesy that should be observed, no matter who ends up paying in the end.

Jason and Aria at a Table

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)


Not Asking Questions

It should come as no surprise that first date convos aren't always the smoothest of interactions. After all, you and your date are still getting to know each other, and it's not always easy to have discussions with people you know nothing about. That said, to get to know someone, you have to ask questions. It's easy to get nervous and let them do all the talking, but if you don't ask questions, it can seem like you're totally uninterested in their life.

No one wants to date someone who doesn't seem to care about what they think, so be sure you're at least asking an equal amount of questions as your date—not only because you need to get to know them better to see if there's a future, but also to show that you're at least a little interested in their life.


Not Sharing Enough

On the flip side of not asking enough questions, not sharing enough about yourself can also ruin a first date. It might seem polite to keep the conversation focused on them, but they'll leave the date feeling like they don't really know anything about you. It will make you seem aloof and closed-0ff, which will make it much easier for your date to decide that round two just isn't in the cards.

Finding the perfect balance might be tricky, but just try to focus on sharing as much information as they're sharing with you. That will keep things balanced and ensure that you both have an equal amount of knowledge about each other at the end of the night.

Elena and Stefan Vampire Diaries

(The Vampire Diaries via The CW)


Being Too Laid-Back

Everyone wants to show potential partners that they can be easygoing, but being too laid-back can actually be a problem. If you answer every question with "whatever you want," your date is bound to get annoyed at your total lack of opinion on anything. You don't have to be demanding, but you should be honest if they're asking for your feedback. Not only is that important if you want a successful relationship in the future, it also shows your date that you're capable of taking a position on something, so it won't always be them making the decisions.


Taking About an Ex

This might seem like a no-brainer, but we're not talking about going into a long-winded story about your past relationship. It can be equally as much of a turnoff to say something as simple as "My last boyfriend once said…" Even if your story totally fits into the conversation, mentioning an ex is an automatic a red flag. Better to just steer clear of any mention of past relationships, at least during the first date.

Caleb and Spencer Pretty Little Liars

(Pretty Little Liars via Freeform)


Checking Your Phone

We're all totally attached to our electronic devices, so it might just be habit that you keep clicking into your phone to see what you missed. However, checking your phone on a date can subtly communicate to your potential love interest that you're bored, not really listening to them or waiting to hear from someone else. Any one of those things can make it seem like you're not really enjoying yourself, and why would they ask you out again if they think you don't like them? Play it safe and save the phone-checking for bathroom breaks or after the date ends.



Complaining isn't the worst thing in the world. It's a great way to vent and sometimes you just have to get things off your chest. But if you want to put your best foot forward on a date, you should really try to keep things positive. Your date doesn't know you yet, so if you spend the whole time talking about your frustrations with friends, they might think you're overly dramatic. Even if you had the worst day ever, put on a happy face for your date and try to stop yourself from complaining.


Looking for more first date advice? Click HERE for five things you should never do before going on a first date.