How to Tell Someone You Have Feelings for Them Without Freaking Them Out

Is there anything worse than trying to figure out how to tell your crush how you feel?

On one hand, you want to be clear that your emotions have expanded farther than friendship, but on the other hand you don't want to be too forward, just in case they don't feel the same way. Because people have a tendency to overreact, scaring your crush off by coming on too strong is unfortunately a very real fear.

Thankfully, we have some tips that can help. Keep scrolling to see how to tell someone you have feelings for them without freaking them out.

Plan for the Moment

While planning for the exact moment that you're going to tell your crush you like them might sound excessive, it's actually a really important part of making sure that things don't go poorly. If you haven't put any prior thought into the conversation, you're much more likely to panic and start babbling about all the reasons you've developed feelings for this person, which can come across as overwhelming and way too intense.

If you're planning to tell them in person, practice exactly what you're going to say a couple times beforehand. If you're going to reveal your feelings through text message, make sure you read it through at least once before hitting the send button. Planning will allow you to say what you really mean, instead of revealing too much or too little in a moment of panic.

Damon and Elena dancing at the pageant

(The Vampire Diaries via The CW)


Be Casual

Even if you've been nursing your crush for a while, being overly emotional is the worst thing you can do when telling this person how you feel. You might think you're coming across as sweet and vulnerable, but if your crush is hearing about your feelings for the first time, they're going to be totally taken aback by the intensity of your feelings.

Alarm and unease are definitely going to be a rocky start start to your relationship, so it's better to be as casual as possible when revealing your feelings. A simple "I think I kind of have a crush on you" or "I love spending time with you, we should do it more" will allow your crush to start thinking about their feelings for you without causing them to assume that you're ready for a serious relationship right this second—a thought that might cause them to freak out.


Have a Purpose

Telling someone you have feelings for them is awesome, but it can also create an awkward situation if they're not sure how to respond. The best way to avoid an awkward conversation is to create an ultimate purpose behind revealing your feelings. Having a date or an event that you'd like to attend with your crush in mind when you go into the talk can help ease some of the awkwardness. It gives the conversation a direction and an ultimate goal, which will likely be much more productive (and less scary) than you and your crush just talking through your feelings.

Rebecca and Josh as teenagers

(Crazy Ex-Girlfriend via The CW)


Give Them Space

No matter how the conversation with your crush went, it's important to give them space after revealing that you have feelings for them. Because you've made yourself really vulnerable and opened yourself up to potential rejection, it can be really hard to take a step back and allow them to process things. You might be tempted to demand an answer right away or to try and explain why you would be great together, but this will actually push your crush further away instead of bringing them closer to you.

By stepping back after revealing your feelings, you can allow your crush to consider how they feel and show them that you don't have any crazy expectations about the future of your relationship. It will set their mind at ease, and it will be a good chance for you to gauge their level of interest in you.


Don't Freak Out

Surprisingly enough, the best way to ensure that your crush doesn't freak out about your feelings is to make sure you don't freak out, either. If you start to panic about their reaction or assume that everything will turn out negatively, your crush is bound to sense those tumultuous emotions and start to be afraid as well. On the other hand, if you're relaxed and comfortable in the situation, your overall energy will help your crush loosen up as well. Telling your crush how you feel is brave and scary, but it's also never as big a deal as you think it is. Make sure you stay calm and collected and the situation is bound to go better than you expect.

Veronica comforting Archie

(Riverdale via The CW)


Having trouble looking past anyone but the person you like? Click HERE to find out how to stop comparing everyone to your crush.