8 Things You Can Forgive, But Should Never Forget, in a Relationship

Relationships are often all about compromise, and since we're only human, there are little things you'll have to forgive if you want to remain a couple with someone.

But which things are totally forgivable, and which ones are breakup-worthy offenses? Here's a list of some of the things you can forgive, but that you shouldn't ever forget in a relationship, because they just might be indicative of a bigger problem.

Being a Jerk Before They Met You

It can sometimes be shocking to hear about the kind of people our S.O.s were before we met them. They may seem kind and thoughtful now, but maybe they used to terrorize their parents, disrespect teachers or not give their ex the attention they deserved.

But if their actions weren't truly awful, and they were simply a bit of a jerk, you shouldn't hold the past against them. If they've proven that they're different now, you should base your opinion on what they do, and not what they used to do. However, you still have the right to keep an eye out for behavior that hints that they haven't really changed after all. Time will tell if they'll revert back to their old ways.


(Beauty and the Beast via Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)


Being Overprotective

Sometimes, significant others can be overprotective. This can stem from a place of extreme care, but it can also come from a place of jealousy and possessiveness. Either way, it can really cramp your style if you're typically independent, and you may need to have a conversation with them about what's appropriate. They need to learn that you're your own person and you can handle yourself.

However, if you recognize a pattern and your partner starts to prevent you from living your life, or even starts hiding the truth in order to "protect" you, then they're overstepping their bounds as your other half.


Being Flirty With Someone Else

Flirtation can be a tricky subject to navigate because some people are naturally flirty. Your S.O. may not even realize when they appear to be flirting with someone, but that probably won't help you feel any less jealous or insecure about it. It's important to address the topic and let them know what they're doing so they're more aware of it and can draw a line somewhere. If it continues to happen after that, then they might be doing it intentionally. When they start deliberately doing things they know hurt you, maybe it's time to stop being so forgiving.

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(Grown-ish via ABC)


Being Needy

Most people in relationships can be a little needy from time to time. Sometimes it's an amazing feeling to know that you're needed, but it's also important to maintain boundaries and have a strong sense of self that can exist without the other person. Sometimes, you'll want to skip out on a boring party because you'd rather spend it with your S.O.

Still, if they always want you around and it's preventing you from pursuing your dreams or ever getting to hang out with your own friends, you should both reevaluate your priorities.


Telling a White Lie

Some white lies are totally forgivable. Do you really want to know if your S.O. hated the gift you carefully selected for them, or that they actually don't think your favorite outfit is cute? When they fib because the truth would result in an unnecessary disaster, they're simply being diplomatic.

However, some white lies can be a slippery slope toward bigger lies, and the more white lies they tell, the easier it might be to pull off those bigger fibs without feeling sorry about it. You don't have to make a big deal out of white lies, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention.


(Legally Blonde via MGM Distribution Co.)


Not Understanding You

Relationships can be hard, and that's especially true when the two of you don't feel like you're on the same wavelength. When tensions are running high during an argument, it can be even harder to find common ground—or even know if you're actually talking about the same thing anymore. We're not always good communicators (either on the speaking or listening end) when we're upset, and there are going to be instances when you simply don't understand each other.

But if your S.O. is never engaged with your side of things and it seems like they're not even trying to understand you, it's a sign that they're not interested in what you have to say and care only about winning the fight. If this is a pattern you struggle with constantly, your entire relationship is going to suffer from it.


Forgetting Something Important

It's no fun when your S.O. forgets your birthday or commits to something when the two of you already had date plans, but it's certainly not the end of the world. There's a possibility it was an honest mistake, and it's hard to fault someone for that. Chances are that you've made a silly mistake or two in the past that you'd love to go back and erase.

People can be forgiven for a blunder—but don't completely brush it off, either. If they make a habit of forgetting things that are important to you and continue proving that they're totally undependable, it may be a sign that you and the things you care about are not a priority to them.


(Parks and Recreation via NBC)


Prioritizing Friends Over You

Being in a new relationship shouldn't ever mean that you stop hanging out with your friends entirely. Your S.O. shouldn't expect you to stop spending time with your buddies, and vice versa. There's nothing wrong with them deciding to go out with their friends instead of spending all their free time with you. In fact, it's healthy.

However, there's a limit. If your significant other refuses to carve out any time for you, or constantly makes it clear that you're not as important to them as any of their friends, that's a big problem. It sounds like they don't care about you very much, so maybe you shouldn't care about them, either.


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