10 Things You Should Know About Someone BEFORE You Date Them

A little mystery keeps a relationship exciting.

But too much may end your partnership before it even begins.

To ensure that doesn't happen, you have a bit of work to do. Call it a little extra credit, if you will.

Before you start dating someone, we're tasking you with knowing these 10 important things about them so your relationship can start on solid ground.

1. How They Feel About Their Ex

We can't stress how important it is that you understand the relationship someone has with their ex before you start dating. Are they completely over each other and don't talk at all? Are there lingering feelings still there? Or are they really close friends, but know they're better off that way? Being aware of this situation will help you better determine if they're worth pursuing. Because why date someone who's still not over another person? Exactly, you wouldn't want that. And we sure as heck don't want that for you either.

 

2. Their Relationship With Their Family and Friends

Are they close with their family? Do they treat their parents with respect, even if they don't get along? Do they have a lot of friends, a tight-knit group or none at all? It'll take a lot of digging to figure this out, but knowing their relationship with the closest people in their life will give you a glimpse into how they'll treat you. So if they have no friends and don't ever want to be associated with their family, they might be trouble and we'd advise you steer clear. Unless you really want to go for it, because who are we to judge?

The Alvarez family hugging each other in One Day at a Time

(One Day at a Time via Netflix)

 

3. What Their Schedule Is Like

Some people have packed schedules and others are pretty free. Being aware of their schedule beforehand will let you know how much time they actually have to spend with you. This isn't to say you shouldn't pursue someone if they have a lot on their plate. It's just nice to understand why they're a slow texter or can't always hang out—it's not that they don't want to, it's just that their day-to-day activities take up a lot of their free time. Now, if you're looking for someone to spend all your hours of the day with, don't go chasing someone who barely has time to breathe.

 

4. Their Plans After High School

There's this notion that once you start dating in someone in high school, you'll be with them for the rest of your life. We hate to break it to you, but that's not always the case. Sure, some couples are in it for the long haul, but not everyone. If you're looking to be with someone forever, you absolutely need to know their plans after high school to better assess if they align with yours. Would you both go to the same college or be on opposite sides of the world? Do they even want to be in a relationship before they head off to college? Don't be afraid to sit them down and ask them all this before you get serious.

Hilary Duff and Chad Michale Murray talking in the locker room in A Cinderella Story

(A Cinderella Story via Warner Bros. Pictures)

 

5. Their Long-Term Goals

Knowing what their plans are post-high school is super important, but it's also critical you know their long-term goals, too. Where do they see themselves in 10, 20, even 30 years? And are they in line with your life goals? If they're not, are you willing to compromise some of the things you hope to achieve to help them get to the top? Would they be willing to do the same for you? You may not think this is all that important to know, but could you really be with someone who would have you pick their goals over your own and force you to fit into their mold? We don't know about you, but we surely wouldn't.

 

6. How They Feel About the Things You Enjoy

We're not saying you have to have everything in common with the person you're dating. In fact, we prefer to like a few different things than the person we're seeing, mainly so they can introduce us to new things and vice versa. What matters most is how your future S.O. feels about the things you enjoy. They don't have to like it, but they shouldn't poke fun at you for liking K-pop or horror movies. If they do, then they're not the one for you. You'll find someone who appreciates the things you like, even if they don't necessarily enjoy them themselves.

Roman and Letha Godfrey at the fair in Hemlock Grove

(Hemlock Grove via Netflix)

 

7. What They Do in Their Free Time

Knowing what someone does in their free time will help you evaluate if they'd be willing to spend that time with you. If they spend a majority of their free time hanging out with their besties or catching up on their sleep, chances are they'll be open to hanging out with you. But if they only play video games, watch movies or hide out in their room in their spare time, they may not be willing to give that up. You can see if they'd be open to doing those things with you, but if not, you might be out of luck.

 

8. How They Treat Others

Other than knowing how your future S.O. treats their ex, family and closest friends, knowing how they interact with others is also super important. Because why would you be with someone who treats strangers disrespectfully? Exactly. Watch their interactions to see if they treat people as kindly as they should. If you're willing to attempt to change their ways, then go for it. We'd advise against it, simply because change is difficult and not something most people are capable of doing.

Jamey and his brother meeting Sierra and Dan in Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

(Sierra Burgess Is a Loser via Netflix)

 

9. What They're Currently Looking for in a Relationship

Is your future S.O. even looking for a serious relationship right now? Just because you're ready for a long-term commitment, doesn't mean the other person is. And you most definitely want to be on the same page before you enter into anything. It'll cause all sorts of confusion later on down the road when you think you're dating and they believe you're just hanging out. Know the difference beforehand.

 

10. Their Communication Style

Communication is a huge part of any relationship, so it's best you know how your partner expresses what they're trying to say. Are they a bit more passive than you? Or are they all sorts of aggressive, which is something you can't handle? Again, this all stems from you taking note of how they interact with others. See how they talk to their friends, family and even acquaintances to get the full picture.

Lara Jean and Peter talking after dinner in To All the Boys I've Loved Before

(To All the Boys I've Loved Before via Netflix)

 

And once you start dating, HERE's how to tell your parents you're in a relationship.