6 Crucial Things You NEED to Have in Common With Your S.O.
Perhaps the most frustrating thing about relationships is that there's no magic formula that ensures everything will work out.
You can have a list of qualities you do and don't want, but oftentimes all those expectations get thrown out the window once you meet someone you really care about.
While we're all about following the chemistry and seeing where your attractions lead you, we also strongly believe in using your head and heart together. And in using both, it's important to remember that there are certain things you shouldn't compromise on, no matter how strongly you might feel about someone.
Wondering which relationship matters are non-negotiable? Keep scrolling for six crucial things you need to have in common with your S.O.
1. Your Core Values
Your music taste, what you like to eat, similar hobbies—those are all extra bits of fluff that you don't really need to have in common with your S.O. Your core values, however, should absolutely align. When we say core values, we're talking about the fundamental beliefs you hold that guide your behavior. These can range from faith, honesty and loyalty, to courage, creativity, ambition and everything in between. Everyone has different things that they hold dear to them, and if you and your partner don't align on these basic principles, you'll never be able to truly understand one another.
2. Your Future Plans
When you're young, talking about the future can be a little scary. It's not essential to have your whole life planned out, but even at a young age you should be functionally thinking about how long your relationship might last. While you and your partner don't need to have the same career goals or matching detailed outline of your lives, generally agreeing on what you ideally want in the future is important. For example, if you're planning to head to college and they want to jet off and travel the world for a few years, your relationship probably won't make it. It doesn't mean you don't care about each other, but if there's no compatibility in the things you want for the future, there's also very little likelihood that your relationship will work out.
3. Your Social Mindset
Yours and your partner's social mindset is actually incredibly important to the health of your relationship. By social mindset, we're referring to how often you do or don't want to be around other people. If you're usually a homebody would much rather spend your Saturday night cuddled up on the couch, but your S.O. loves heading out with all their pals every weekend, you're going to have some friction.
A matching idea of healthy social interaction eliminates all those arguments about how much time you should be spending together and keeps either of you from feeling stifled or held back by your relationship. It might not sound like a big deal, but after the fourth time you've begged your S.O. to skip a night with their pals in favor of a Netflix binge with you, you'll start to realize it's more important than it seems.
4. Your Spending Expectations
Money is the awkward elephant in the room in every relationship. Who pays for date nights? How much money should you be spending on gifts? Is one person supposed to pay more than the other? These and more questions are super uncomfortable to work through, which is why it's so important for you and your S.O. to have a similar mindset about money.
Maybe you both want to save as much as you can, so you skip many date nights in favor of at-home activities. Maybe you want them to pay for every single date. Or maybe you agree to switch off on who pays, creating a bit of equality in the relationship. It doesn't really matter where you land, it just matters that you're both comfortable with it, as nothing breeds bitterness faster than feeling forced to spend more money than you're comfortable with.
5. Your Feelings About Teasing
Some people feel closest to those whom they can poke fun at and joke around with. Others, however, are a little more sensitive, and tend to get very self-conscious when they're teased at all. Neither feeling is wrong, but it's important that you and your S.O. are on the same page regarding just how much teasing is too much teasing.
If you're constantly making fun of your partner because it's one of your primary bonding techniques, but they feel hurt and beaten down by your light-hearted insults, your relationship will never last. Teasing can be fun or it can be a relationship-ender—you just have to find someone who feels the same way about it that you do.
6. Your Time Together
Much like social mindset, everyone has different expectations for how much time they should spend with their S.O. Some people want to spend all day every day together, while others still value their alone time, even when they're in a relationship. Therefore, agreeing with your S.O. on how much time you should spend together is crucial for the health of your relationship. Otherwise, you're guaranteed to have many fights and misunderstandings about why you're ignoring each other, when in actuality you just wanted a few hours all to yourself.
Looking for more relationship advice? Click HERE for how to break the toxic relationship cycle with your crush.