4 Times Your Partner Actually Shouldn't Support You

Your partner is supposed to support you. Point blank, period.

But is it really simple as that? While your relationship should be filled with endless encouragement, should your partner really support you in everything that you do?

We don't think so. In fact, sometimes being a member of a partnership means purposely opposing your partner, both for their own well-being and for the health of your relationship.

But how do you know when your partner should be encouraging you and when they shouldn't? Keep scrolling for four times your partner actually shouldn't support you.

If Your Well-Being Is at Risk

Shocking as it may be to hear, your partner shouldn't support you if you're engaging in destructive behaviors. Truly healthy partnerships are meant to push you forward and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. If you're doing something that puts your well-being at risk, your partner definitely shouldn't promote that behavior. Sometimes being in a relationship requires hearing things that you'd rather ignore from someone who cares about you very deeply. If your partner calls you out on your destructive behavior, they're not trying to attack you. Instead, they're simply trying to push you to be better. It hurts in the moment, but it's crucial to building a partnership that's healthy on all levels.

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If It Means Sacrificing Their Needs

Balancing your needs and the needs of your partner in a relationship is a tricky business. Sometimes the things you both need are going to be in direct conflict with one another. In those moments, you have to come to a compromise, which will probably require that one or both people give up part of what they want. However, it shouldn't be an expectation that your partner should support your needs at all costs, especially if they have to sacrifice their own in the process.

You have a right to stick up for what you want in a relationship, but your partner does as well. You shouldn't expect your partner to support you above their own satisfaction and happiness in the relationship. Both of your needs are equally important, so it's crucial to find a middle ground that makes both of you feel heard and understood.


If You're Damaging the Relationship

Just as your partner shouldn't support you if you're engaging in behaviors that harm your personal well-being, they also shouldn't support you if they feel your behavior is damaging your relationship. Your S.O. has a right to protect your partnership. Sometimes that requires speaking out against things you're doing that aren't quite in line with what they want from a relationship. You can disagree with their assessment, but you can't demand that they give you a blank check to do whatever you want—just as you wouldn't want them to do whatever they want either.

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If You Expect Too Much

Yes, yes—you can definitely expect too much support from your partner. Wanting your partner to support your goals, dreams, emotional growth and personal development is fair. Expecting your partner to fulfill all your emotional needs without putting any effort in yourself is not. If you think providing support in your relationship means your partner is solely responsible for your happiness, you're expecting way too much out of them.

Having a supportive relationship doesn't mean that you can dump your problems onto your partner and expect them to fix all your messes. You have to put work into your relationship and manage your own shortcomings and emotional demands. Your partner is there for encouragement, but they simply can't be everything you need in all situations. No one can.


Looking for more relationship advice? Click HERE for six things you should discuss with someone before you start dating them.