What to Do When Your Friend Is Mad At You For No Reason

Friendship isn't always a walk in the park.

Finding someone you click with and spending time together consistently doesn't necessarily mean your relationship will be problem-free. Fights and disagreements are bound to happen, but what do you do when you're dealing with a friend who's upset with you, even though you know you haven't done anything wrong?

We might be able to help. Keep scrolling for what to do when your friend is mad at you for no reason.

1. Reexamine the Situation

Usually when people get upset, there is a reason, even if you might not recognize it immediately. Before you rule out the fact that you may have angered your pal, take time to really examine what happened. Write down things you said or did right before they got upset, read back through your text messages—basically, take a deep dive into your relationship. You might realize that you actually did do something offensive, even though you didn't realize it at the time, or you might come to the conclusion that you couldn't have possibly done anything to upset them. Either way, the situation is worth a second look before you unequivocally declare yourself innocent.

Riverdale: Veronica in purple dress grimacing

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

Also read about: You Might Lose Old Friends When You Go to College—Here's Why That's Okay

 

2. Give Them Space

If you determine that you really couldn't have done anything to upset your friend, the best course of action is to simply give them space. If they're mad for no reason, it's likely that they're dealing with their own issues. Pushing them to talk about it or hounding them to tell you why they're upset will only make the situation worse. Don't force them to talk to you or search for a quick fix. Instead, give them a little room to breathe and allow them to work through their emotions in their own time. When they're ready, they'll come talk to you, which will likely result in a much more productive conversation.

 

3. Don't Gossip

When you don't feel like there's a justified reason for a friend to get mad at you, it's easy to get indignant and reactive. You start to resent them for their feelings of anger, and your own frustration starts to build, often resulting in many conversations with your other friends about just how ridiculous this situation is. However, gossiping will only make things worse. Anything you say is bound to get back to your friend at some point, increasing their own anger until you're in a situation where neither of you is willing to work things out. If you want to preserve the friendship, keep your frustrations to yourself. If you can stop the rumor mill from churning, your friend is much more likely to come to you and try to fix the situation, whereas gossiping will only heighten the anger in both you and your pal.

 

Also read about: 15 Conversation Starters for Teens

 

4. Kill 'Em With Kindness

Honestly good advice for any situation: If you don't know what someone's deal is, just kill 'em with kindness. You don't know where this anger is coming from or whether it actually has something to do with you at all, so the best thing you can do is show that you're still going to be a good friend, even if your pal isn't being one at the moment. Plus, it has a slightly selfish motive. If you just keep being kind to your friend despite their poor treatment of you, they're probably going to feel pretty crappy about their behavior. Not only did you show what a good friend you are, but you also got them to realize that they were in the wrong without having to have a huge blow-up—it's a win-win.

Toni comforting Cheryl on an episode of Riverdale

(Riverdale via The CW)

 

5. Hear Them Out

If your pal wants to continue your friendship, they're eventually going to approach you to discuss the source of their anger. At this point, you're likely going to feel very irritated and expect an immediate apology, which they probably won't give. Instead of getting mad at them and re-escalating the situation, hear your pal out. You might realize it was all a misunderstanding, that you did something you didn't even realize would upset them or that they've been dealing with things you were completely unaware of.

Whatever their reasons might be, hearing your friend out before you jump in with all your own grievances will help strengthen your bond and improve your communication skills. Once you've heard them out, be honest about your own feelings, but try to listen before you talk. It's guaranteed to make the convo much smoother.

Shutterstock: Horizontal shot of an attractive young couple talking in the living room

(via Shutterstock)

 

Also read about: 10 Texts to Send Your Friends When You Miss Them

 

6. Realize That It Might Not Be a Healthy Friendship

Unfortunately, not all friendships are built to last. While you shouldn't give up on your pals at the first sign of trouble, you also shouldn't deal with friends who display toxic behaviors. If your friend is mad at you for no reason, you might have to accept that this just isn't the healthiest relationship. By getting upset with you and refusing to explain why, your pal is manipulating your emotions. Instead of dealing with their frustrations in a healthy manner—by confronting you and talking through their issue—they've now put you in a situation where you're in constant stress and worry trying to figure out what's wrong. Nobody's perfect, so give it a little time to see if things work out, but also keep in mind that some friendships simply have to run their course, as not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

 

Looking for more advice on friend problems? Click HERE for how to tell a friend they're being too clingy without ruining your relationship.